Good-Bye July - You've Been Good To Me

I am counting my blessings today, and the first one is that today in itself was pretty darn good. My sweet girls gave me a $25 gift card to Nordstrom and cupcakes from Georgetown Cupcake. I am truly going to miss working with them next summer. The kiddos did a great job in the talent show today and their parents loved it! Camp comes to an end tomorrow ... particularly the end of an era for me. For four years I have worked at this camp. I grew up here. I grew into a better teacher, a better educator, a better person at this camp. I have meet incredible people, inspiring families and a plethora of little guys ... each made perfect in all of their quirkiness. It has been such a blessing to work here. To touch the lives of each person I have interacted with here. To allow them to touch my lives. I am forever grateful for my experiences at this camp ... and I will be teary eyed to say my good-byes tomorrow. Because it will not be see ya later ... but good-bye for good.

Today was the first day in forever that I did not have a commitment after work. So I used the time to get my oil changed and to do a little bit of clothes shopping. It was therapeutic and much needed. I got some good deals and some cute outfits! I cannot wait to rock my new things :o) I cooked breakfast for dinner and then cleaned the main living area of my apartment, while watching Season 2 of Scandal on netflix. I was able to chit chat with my best friend throughout the day and I was elated when she shared that she would like to invite my baby sister to her wedding. Kathryn Keenan is my girl ... one of the best people I know. A beautiful soul inside and out. I feel so blessed to have her in my life ... she truly is a gem.

It was a wonderful day! Although the happy 30 is complete ... I am glad to end July on such a positive note. Good-bye July, hello August. The countdown until my 26th birthday officially begins now!

The Happy Thirty - Day THIRTY

Ok. So I will be real. Today was NOT my best day. I woke up feeling well rested and bubbly ... and then I arrived at work and everything seemed to go down hill. I realized I had forgotten my snacks, so I ended up munching on J-U-N-K ALL day long. I was exhausted the entire day, yawning and fighting to keep myself away. I felt tired and moody and judgemental and blaah.

The upside is our most difficult camper was absent today, so the campers were better behaved. I had a lovely conversation with one of the parents and her genuine thanks and appreciation for all we've done for her son this summer warmed my spirit. A parking lot conversation with Kelly also made me happy - I adore this girl and I will miss working with her next summer.

I went to dinner with Caitlin ... and boy did I feel feisty/snappy. I wanted to say something rude or snarky or just plain mean to everything she said. I felt aggressive and the need to talk louder/get the last word in. I have felt this way here and there lately with a few of my friends. I am not sure where this feeling comes from, but I do not like it. I want for it to stop.

The upside is I enjoyed a beer and the cool breeze as we dined on the patio at bdubbs.

I have been feeling frustrated ... burnt out even ... with my current summer job. The thought of teaching another year fills me with anxiety. I am worried that I will loose interest in my job or slack off. That I will not be an effective teacher or give this job my all. I know that's me being melodramatic ... but these are truly fears. My passion for teaching is ZONKED right now and I do not know how to get my groove ... that fire ... back. Hopefully I can find my fire before the 18th (when I report back to school).

Here's to a fresh start tomorrow and remembering to count my blessings because life is always beautiful.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Nine

Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions kind of day. I was pretty grumpy for a good part of the day ... with waves of kindness. I am so annoyed with the fact that I've hardly had a summer vacation, and that school literally starts in three weeks.

But there are some things that made me happy yesterday.

I was able to get in my school and send out invite letters to a family for a VERY important meeting. I am so happy all of that is taken care of ... for now. Next, I went to chic fil a for a quick chicken biscuit breakfast - yum, yum. It has felt like fall this week ... so the gorgeous weather has made my soul feel at peace. Those who know me know that I am a sucker for the season of Autumn. Camp was less than par ... I am happy that we are finished in two and a half days. But what made me happiest was my workout class in the evening. Rob made a guest appearance for the evening <he had a class to make up> and my spirits lifted! There is a group of people in these classes with whom I've connected ... and it is so much fun working out with them :) This summer has been absolutely boring without some of these individuals ... and I am so grateful that I had a taste of that camaraderie I cherish so much and had forgotten about.

Although it was not one of my best days - or happiest - I am still grateful for this thing called life and the experiences I get to have along the way.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Eight

What my happiness looks like today:

• Oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies ... homemade by one of my interns 
• plans to hang with my BFF this weekend <girls night!>
• happy hour plans with friends from work work at Seasons 52 [hello wine!]
• a camper doing the dance moves for our talent show - even though everyone thought he couldn't do it ... including myself -
• happy hour plans for Friday after camp ends
• camp ends on Friday
• wrote an educational report for a sped assessment in a record 30 minutes
• Caitlin graciously offered to proof read every page of that 10 page son of a gun
• home cooked meal by my momma ... spareribs and macaroni/cheese never tasted so good

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Seven

A day late, however yesterday an hour long phone call with my sister made me happy. I probably talked the most - whoops - but it was fun to actually talk on the phone with her about stuff that mattered ... or maybe will not matter after a couple of days anyway. Gluten free waffles and maple sausage also made me happy and talking to my BEST FRAANN for a good portion of the morning. Can I tell you I am STOKED that she's back home :o) Hell ... I am just stoked she is my person -- no words for how much I adore Kat Lynn. Snuggling with three cute little pups also made me very happy [and in want of my own pooch]. Sunday was a good day ... and I know today will be too!

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Six

Four days away from thirty. This blogging about positivity has been such a life changing experience. Truly ... I am thankful for the opportunity to pause for a moment each day and reflect on the good in my life. As I have said a few times before ... my life is no where near perfect and I have some lousy days and hit some rough patches. But through this experience, I have realized that it's far greater to focus on the positive in your life versus the negative. I cannot promise that I will never ever take to this blog again with heavy messages ... however I will promise to dedicate more entries to gratefulness and gratitude.

Today I am thankful for a cup of coffee that started my day off on the right foot. For traveling to the Lakeshore Teacher Store and for having the opportunity to purchase a few items to enhance my instruction this upcoming school year. I am grateful for being able to step foot on the campus I once called my home for four years of my life, and for a delicious lunch at panera. I am grateful for having Randi as my companion on these adventures today and for a morning phone call from Stacy. Stacy is truly a friend that will be in my life forever - and I praise God every time I recall how she entered my life and changed my world forever (five years ago). Finally I am thankful for my momma, and her willingness to pick up the phone every time I call <3.

I have spent my afternoon cleaning up my apartment and tossing out old papers/things. The sun is shining through my windows and my place is looking/smelling/feeling cleaner with each hour. A nice mix of tunage is playing on my ipad mini and I am at peace. Today has been a great day, even though it's not over yet.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Five

Today is not over yet. However I have so much to be thankful for. A Starbucks soy vanilla latte and a dunkin donut for breakfast ... all courtesy of the fantastic ladies I work with. A camp report that was deemed well-written and finished. A former coworker who opened up her office to me, so that I could finish a special education report for an upcoming meeting I had. Buying a housewarming gift for a dear friend. And plans for a dinner date with some girlfriends tonight. We are switching things up and cooking the food at Erica's house ... the start of a new [and cheaper] way to spend time together I hope.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Four

My bucket of happiness is full to the brim today! I am feeling so blessed to have so many wonderful, supportive and positive people in my life! I am so glad I was able to talk to my best friend Kitty through text, if even for a short while. Her words of encouragement and honesty mean the world to me - she is a wonderful friend and confidant. I do not know what I would do without her. I spoke on the phone to Kat's sister, Alison, tonight. She's another one of my dearest friends. We giggled and cooed at the prospect of planning Kat's wedding with her! We are excited to be a part of this chapter of her life ... and we are even more excited to work together to make this season of her life so special.

I went to dinner tonight with my momma, Cait and her momma. It was a truly wonderful time. I feel so blessed to have Cait in my life, a friendship that formed unexpectedly and changed my life forever. She is a wonderful person and has been such a rock in my life, during the ups and downs. It was her mother's birthday and I know Momma Caffrey had a blast with us all! Michelle even stopped by for a little bit - which was extremely special and welcomed. My sandwich was delicious and the drinks were plentiful. It was a great way to spend my Thursday evening.

Finally - my work girls were wonderful today! Erin and Alexa are such gems. In fact, all of the ladies I work with (Casey, Courtney, Theresa, Mariel, Sarah, Kelly...) are precious gems. Each lady has a heart of gold. Each lady is kind and tender hearted. Each lady is friendly and warm. I come back every summer because of these incredible people I work with, laugh with, stress with and bond with. I feel so fortunate to have had the experience of working with a dedicated and amazing group of people.

Today was an awesome day! And I lift my hands <and thanks> up to the heavens. God is Good. And so is this life I live.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Three

If my blog did not clearly state it yesterday ... let me say it again: MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED! Happiness is hardly the word to describe the excitement and emotion I feel for her and this happy new time in her life! Kathryn is such a beautiful soul inside and out ... and John makes her an even better person. They are a beautiful couple ... my role models really ... and I couldn't be happier for these too. They are meant to be together and I look forward to the upcoming months of planning and festivity as we prepare to celebrate their holy matrimony!

Otherwise ... great coworkers [again] made me happy today. I work with the BEST gals in the world. Also a great tutoring session and a home cooked meal topped off today for being wonderful. I am feeling so blessed and fortunate to have great people in my life and wonderful opportunities at my finger tips. Here's to seven more days of blogging about my journey to find happiness everyday and twenty-four more days until my 26th birthday!

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty Two

Enjoyed a happy hour after work wtih camp friends today and received a phone call from my best friend to announce her engagement! These two things made me very happy today :)

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty One

Today was a good day. A really good day. The first good day in what seems to be like a couple of long days. So I am happy! I woke up feeling refreshed after a good weekend. The kiddos were generally good at camp - or was I unusually calm and happy go lucky? Hmmm. I loved my new co-teacher Stephanie ... she was a breath of fresh air at camp!

My graduate schooling for the upcoming year is being paid! All expenses paid - God is GOOD! Tyler was wonderful during tutoring, and his mama cut me a check for a big sum of money (which immediately went straight into my savings account). All my bills are paid (although I am annoyed that one particular bill went through twice). I had a yummy dinner with Randi and watched a hilarious movie on netflix.

But the highlight of my day was talking on the phone to both my grandfather and grandmother. I cherish the moments I have with them ... there are memories I'll have with me for a lifetime.

Today was a darn good day. And am I ever so thankful!

The Happy Thirty - Day Twenty

Day TWENTY!

Buying two pairs of cute sandals for $10 bucks made me happy today. They were not what I stepped into Target for, but I am thankful that they were waiting for me. Spending some productive alone time rummaging through the racks at Kohls, The Loft, Target, Dick's Sporting Goods and Bath and Body Works also made me happy. It beat sitting on the couch in my house and feeling sad. But the highlights of my day were a text message from Anne and an impromptu Sunday Funday with Sean, Cait and Michelle. When I found myself in a funk today ... these simple things lifted me up out of it. It was a great, low key day and I am blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life.

The Happy Thirty - Day Nineteen

Family. Friends. Laughter. Mud. Obstacle Challenges. Beautiful weather. Being outdoors. No cell phone. Being present. Living in the moment. Living in the now. What a wonderful Saturday full of happiness!

The Happy Thirty - Day Eighteen

A half day at camp. A full night of sleep. An evening celebrating newly weds. A beautiful venue. Delicious food. Lifelong friends. Wonderful music. These were the things that made me happy today.

The Happy Thirty - Day Seventeen

Today was a good day.

Happiness is receiving a phone call from your bank stating that all monies have been credited back to your account. There is no way to express the relief and joy that I felt at that exact moment, other than the tears streaming down my face. Sometimes you don't know how you'll react until the moment happens.

Happiness is relatively well behaved campers and  working with a great staff. Happiness is freshly permed hair that flows in the cool breezes of this unprecedented summer weather. Happiness is a tutoring session that goes flawlessly - and a client who has shown incredible progress! 

Happiness is going to a free movie screening of Wish I Was Here. Of walking near the waterfront in Georgetown (D.C.) with two friends from work. Happiness is sitting on the steps and watching paddle boarders float down the Potomac river or the yachts begin to cruise. It's watching baby otters swim in the river as the sun sets and paints a picture full of warm colors on the horizon. 

I had a great day and I am looking forward to this weekend. It should be a good one full of lots of good times with folks I love. 

The Happy Thirty - Day Sixteen

No surprise, spotify is currently on playing the soulful tunes of David Ryan Harris. I am sitting next to a vase of beautiful sunflowers, in my comfy and cozy apartment. As I drove home from my parents house tonight, I couldn't help but wonder what it was that I was thankful for today and what it is that made me happy.

At first I could not come up with anything, still feeling pretty defeated and disgruntled about this bank fraud situation. However as I stepped outdoors into the crisp night air, my soul breathed a sigh of relief and my heart filled with a quiet peace. The night sky was absolutely beautiful outside. I could see every star in the sky and the breeze outside was incredible. A rare temperature and/or type of weather for the dead of summer.

Nonetheless, the quiet atmosphere outside got me to begin thinking about my day and all of the goodness in it. I woke up in a clean bedroom feeling well rested, something I attribute to staying up until 1 AM to clean my bedroom. I made it to work on time and two of my campers were absent today. We had a relatively smooth day with our remaining six boys, not to mention the gorgeous fall like weather outdoors made me feel absolutely, positively exuberant. My hair dresser allowed me to squeeze into a 5:30 hair appointment, after calling out of desperation around 12 noon today. And I enjoyed the most delicious dinner, courtesy of my momma after arriving to her house unexpectedly.

I think today made me realize that surely not every day can be a fairy tale. Not every moment of our life will bring joy to our hearts or a smile to our faces. But if you can find the good in each day ... even if it's one small occurrence ... you have the power to turn your frown upside down and your life around.

It has not been easy blogging every day for sixteen days straight, but the positivity that radiates within me is unexplainable. I feel alive for the first time in a long time. I feel so very much like the Christina I used to know and love. It is an infectious feeling, one that I hope to embody and revisit again and again through the upcoming school year.

Be not fooled - my heart hurts here and there each day when I remember how much has changed. My eyes brim with tears when I think about individuals I am no longer connected with and how much my life has changed. So. much. has. changed. and. you're. lucky. if. you. continue. to. love. a. changing. person. But I am trying really hard to go with the flow. To take each day - life - as it comes. To trust in the unknown. Trust that the big man upstairs is in control and is working EVERYTHING out.  

The Happy Thirty - Day Fifteen

Today was not a good day. But it was not a bad day either. So I am coming up a little short on what made me happy. I am going to say good soulful music is currently making me happy. I love getting lost in the lyrical tunes of great artists ... Some relatively unknown. Their beats ease my soul. Soothe my subconscious. I feel at peace and alive when I am listening to my music. I feel relaxed and entertained. I feel joyful and happy. So for today... I give thanks for music and lots of it! May your day be filled with beats and tunes that add a little pep to you step and bring a smile to your face.

Life Flows With Ease.

To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them - while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease.
— Eckhart Tolle

The Happy Thirty - Day(s) Thirteen/Fourteen

On Sunday, I was able to sleep in. That made me happy. My bed is so ridiculously comfy. That also made me happy. I lounged around on the couch reading a book ... such a sweet and comforting start to my day. Then I met up with Cait for ice cream - which made me unbelievably happy (because it was so darn good). Finally, a home cooked meal of salmon, kale and quinoa made my day complete.

Today - Monday - I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was surely a grouch. A call from my grandfather lifted my spirits. He was so upset about this fraud/identity theft and made sure to tell me so. That warmed my heart ... seeing the words "Granddaddy Calling..." on my iPhone screen. If I have written about them once, I have written about them a thousand times. However ... my coworkers made me the happiest today. I feel so blessed and fortunate to work with such an amazing group of women. I do not know how I got so lucky ... but I feel like I am queen of the world with these girls by my side.

We laughed and giggled ... celebrated and cried together today. These girls make my summer job absolutely worth every heartache. I wish I could work with them year round - because that would make coming into work something I look forward to every day. This afternoon, Momma accompanied me to the bank to see if I could get a handle on all of this fraudulent activity. The lady who helped us literally was an Angel. That warmed my heart and made me happy. Mom's company and support made me happy. And to complete my day, she invited me over for another home cooked meal - that was fantastic. Today has been a good day.

When I first started this happy thirty blogging business, I felt like coming up with something that made me happy each day was nearly impossible. I really had to dig through my thoughts <and day> to pinpoint an event, person or moment that brought joy to my soul. It's truly amazing how easy it's become now, as I hit the halfway mark of July. I feel a difference in my step and my aura ... I feel so positive and upbeat, regardless of what life has been throwing my way lately. I feel more like myself ... the self I thought I had lost. It's not to say everything in my life is perfect, because things are soo far from that, but I just feel different.

I feel happier ... I am truly happier. And this is a feeling I could get used to.

The Happy Thirty - Day Twelve

Today I was unfortunately a victim of fraud. Some person, that I do not know, made a $2,000 purchase with my bank card. I literally had a meltdown when I mistakenly discovered this. I am talking tears, hyperventilating, and all that jazz. If I had had it my way, I would have spent that day at home curled up in a ball, boo hooing and revisiting my online bank account page.

Instead, my girl Cait paid for me to get a full tank of gas in my car and we traveled to Alexandria, VA for a girls day with Anne! We went to a salon to get fish pedicures. Such a crazy experience that made us giggle like little girls!

After getting pedicures, we ventured over to downtown Alexandria and walked around the cute little town! We took some snap shots down by the water and eventually ended up at an Irish pub for a beer and appetizers. Finally we headed home after a long, busy day. I am so thankful for both girls and their friendships. I am also grateful that they coerced me into going out, when I would have rather stayed at home crying over my misfortune today. 

Being near the water makes me absolutely happy and I feel so blessed to have felt the breeze in my hair two times this weekend.

The Happy Thirty - Day Eleven

Tonight I went on a date. We met halfway in Napptown and walked through the streets. Then we found a little mom and pop diner and enjoyed the BEST crab cakes I have EVER eaten. After dinner, we walked around Napptown and eventually ended up sitting on the dock watching the sun set and the moon rise. Conversation continued the entire night. The gentleman brought me flowers and paid for dinner. He also paid for an ice cream and a Slurpee. He insisted on walking closest to the road, in efforts to keep me safe from harm. He held open each door. The date was pretty darn great for a first date - one of the best I have ever been on.

I am happy tonight for the beautiful flowers. I am happy because I was able to sit in one of my favorite towns, in one of my favorite spots, doing one of my favorite things - watching the sunset over the horizon. I am happy because I felt the wind in my hair and a cool breeze rise off the bay. I am happy because my faith in humanity is restored. There are some great guys out there. I am happy because the weather was fantastic and the thunderstorms rolled over and I was in my favorite - did I mention favorite - city.

It was a darn good day. And for that, I am grateful.

The Happy Thirty - Day Ten

I like to laugh. Laughing is my favorite. I am not sure I do it enough. Especially during the school year. But this summer, I have been laughing a lot. And I owe a lot of my cheek workouts to my coworkers. I work with an incredible group of women. I love these girls like they were my very best work friends. We all get along. We all understand one another's sense of humor. We all laugh ... all day ... to keep from crying. We have fun. We share stories about our heartbreaks and our successes. These girls have become like a family, as we have worked together summer after summer. Today, they make me happy. The conversations had with them today make me happy. I am so blessed to be apart of their lives, and I hope that they cherish my company as much as I cherish theirs.

So here's to my tenth day of being happy. Of finding something to uplift my soul when the days grow long, and the clouds roll in.

"Even in the darkest night, small graces remind us that sunrise always follows."