deep waters

"But understand, when you’re out there in the deep waters, you can’t touch the ground. You can’t see the shoreline, and at times, it can get a little rocky. You may not always see how things are going to work out. But, the scripture tells us that deep calls to deep. In other words, God is the one who has called you to the deep waters. He is with you, and He knows there are deep things on the inside of you. Remember, in deep waters, you are not alone. God is with you, and He’s causing those deep things inside of you to come forth."


- Joel Osteen

Footprints

"You won't realize the distance you've walked until you take a look back at the footprints you have left behind."


It's amazing. I do not know when it happened ... but it did. And I wish I could twirl through the streets shouting, "It's finally over!" Did you hear me ... "IT'S OVER!" Somewhere over the course of the past couple of months ... I let go. I let go and moved on. I am - for the first time EVER - one hundred percent positive that I am finally over him. It took me three extra years ... but by the grace of God, I did it! I am so proud of myself ... of the pain, tears, heartache and fears. I got to the place I dreamt of for so long. The ultimate test was looking at old photographs of us together ... looking at his page ... and I no longer feel anything. No tears, no pain. No regrets, no "if only's." I know that I am done! 


Although I do not like him, and really have no desire to keep in direct contact ... from the bottom of my heart, I do wish him the very best. I hope he finds absolute happiness with his new love. I wish them all the joys of exploring something new ... of growing together with someone. I hope they work out and remain together for a very long time. Most importantly, I hope he does right by her. I hope to goodness he does not treat her the way he treated me. It's unfortunate how things ended between us ... but I will cherish the good times we had together and use the bad times as life lessons ... warnings of what to look out for in the future. 


Thank you God for delivering me from this. I will continue to pray for him. I will continue to pray for myself. I hope one day I find out what it means to love you first ... and man second. I hope one day, a my heart is so lost within you ... that a man will have to seek you first to find me. I hope that one day, I experience a love that goes way beyond what I have ever imagined for myself.

My footprints in the sand show where I came from ... and where I am going ... so thankful for God's grace and time ... combined, they're the healer of all wounds.

[dedicated]

"Somewhere in between all the mind games, lies, and seduction, I fell for you. Somewhere in between all the broken promises, manipulation, and heartaches, I got over you. But I guess I fibbed a few times, too. Remember all those times I swore I needed you? Well consider them lies because, baby, here I am without you and I survived."

- Lil Wayne