2012 has been a roller coaster for me. There have been so many highs and so many lows that I have experienced this year. I have grown A LOT as an individual and learned so many life lessons. I have loved and I have lost. I have laughed and I have cried. Facebook became nifty this year and offered to do a 2012 in review photo montage. I do not think that Facebook accurately portrayed the highlight reel of this year.
January
I started of the year with an AMAZING NYE celebration with single girlfriends - two from high school and two from college. We had a ball of a time dressed as flappers. We got ridiculously drunk and took a ton of adorable photos. It was truly a great time and made me hopeful for the year ahead.
February
Finally
got over my ex-boyfriend of three years! Sean was my first *true* love as the saying goes, and it took me forever and a day to let go of my feelings for him and the hurt I felt over our break-up. It literally took me almost two years after our break-up to feel finally healed, but I was so gracious when it happened! I also spent countless weekends out and about with my girlfriends who were single.
Katie, pictured on the far right, and I also started becoming friends! We celebrated NYE together, but we really didn't talk much that night. As we started hanging out together more in our little group of girlfriends, we quickly discovered that we had so much in common! It was like we had been friends for a lifetime, and were just picking up where we had left off.
March
March was one HELL of a rocky month! I continuously felt that I was
LOST. I felt as though I did not know who my friends were. I was having difficulty understanding who I was. I was overwhelmed and frustrated with present circumstances in my life. It was a
ROUGH time.
On a positive note, I celebrated St. Patrick's Day and had a ball of a time with my college friends.
I also briefly dated a guy that I met while out and about. I dubbed him the "southern gentleman" because he was chivalrous and had a charming accent. He was a God send because he truly helped me let go of my ex-boyfriend (and my ex-boyfriend finally let go of me).
Oh! And I celebrated the 24th birthday of my childhood best friend, Natasha. Alicia and I took Tash out in DC for a night of wild fun.
April
April was uneventful for the most part. I began my search for a new place to live, as my roommate had given me notice that she would be moving in with her boyfriend once our lease ended in July.
I also celebrated the 25th birthday of my best friend Kathryn. We went to the Power Plant in Baltimore and got crazy drunk! I had such a great time and I know that she did as well. I also enjoyed a restful spring break with ladies night outings with old friends.
May
May *was* an eventful month. I signed a lease for my very first apartment on my OWN. The building was BRAND NEW and still under construction, so my move in date was set for the end of June.
I went to DC 101's Chili Cook-Off. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and drank way too much *pre-game* alcohol within thirty minutes of arriving to the event. We had found out that we couldn't bring in open containers, so we attempted to finish off our bottles so that no penny was wasted. Well, I wasted money on both the alcohol and my $50 ticket.
I remember NONE of that concert because I puked my brains out the ENTIRE time. It was God awful hot outside, and I went from sober to overly intoxicated in about 10 minutes. My best friend spent most of event taking care of my drunk behind, and I swore to never, ever drink again.
Before I hit a wall, I ran into Lucas - the best friend of my ex-boyfriend - only to learn that Sean had recently become a newly wed and was currently living in Japan. WHAT!? I was deeply hurt and confused, as approximately eight months earlier, I traveled by plane to visit him in Parris Island at his graduation from boot camp (he told me he was going to marry me, and I stupidly played the fool and took the bait.)
On a positive note, the beginning of May is Teacher Appreciation week. The mother of one of my students wrote a beautiful card for me ... one that I still keep to this day. It is a reminder of why I choose to go into this profession and why I am so passionate about teaching AND special education.
June
In June I finished up my second year of teaching! I said good-bye to the sweetest little darling that I had ever had the pleasure of teaching and loving as my own. In order to de-stress, the girls that I had celebrated NYE with and I took a mini-vacation to the beach. This beach trip was the turning point in the relationship with one of my closet girlfriends. After this trip, our friendship was never the same again.
I learned valuable lessons about mixing groups of friends - sometimes it's better not to. I also learned valuable lessons about who were my true friends and would continue to be in my life ... and those who would slowly fade to black.
At the end of June, I received the key to my new home! One of the scariest, exciting and most fulfilling days of my adult life thus far!
July
July was an exciting month as I began to create a *home* within my new home. It consisted of several visits from friends and family to help break in my place. I also hosted a house warming party - which proved to be yet another reminder of why a friendship with a particular friend was nearing the end of it's term. I had a terrific summer job experience ... well sort of. I had an awesome co-teacher that I worked with. Theresa was fabulous to learn from and to laugh with. I also had some pretty awesome experiences teaching children with down-syndrome.
August
During this month, I vacationed at the beach with my best friend and I celebrated my 24th birthday! I also began my third year of teaching special education. Among other things, I attended one of my first semi-professional baseball games.
I also attended a beautiful wedding for one of my favorite co-workers, Jessica! She invited our entire special education team and it was quite a night to remember!
I struggled with insecurities and questions about the relationships that I held with friends. I found out that my father had prostate cancer. I grieved privately over the news. I wrestled with myself about being okay with who I was and where I stood within relationships.
September
In September, I discovered my love of hiking. I revisited my Alma mater for Homecoming. I ventured to Baltimore for outings with my girl friends. I continued to struggle internally with my present circumstances within my life. I had many sleepless nights, full of tears and what I thought were answered prayers.
My family celebrated my Dad, who officially became a
cancer survivor. I reflected on where I was at this time the year prior. I really went through a tough time in September, but I tapped into my faith to pull through. I stayed on my knees many nights, crying out to the Lord for guidance during these storms in my life. I also really began to blog A LOT ... as this was my outlet. This was the place I could go to share my tears and fears, to let them out and revisit them later when I had received clarity on what it was that I was going through.
October
My siblings and I took family photos to surprise my parents with for Christmas. The shots were taken by a friend of mine from high school who is trying to get her photography business up and running.
I attended the Baltimore Ravens vrs Dallas Cowboys football game with my favorite girl friends! We had a blast day drinking and hanging out in downtown Baltimore.
We celebrated John and Alison's birthdays Halloween weekend! I think this was one of the best Halloween celebrations to date. The girls decided to dress up as drinks and I was Captain Morgan. We took lots of fun pictures and danced the night away.
Although I have fond memories of October (and the pictures to prove it), this was by far the HARDEST month of the year for me. I really went through some personal trials and storms that month. I think I had the
MOST blog entries during this time ... as this was how I coped.
For a while - and still to this day - I think I dealt with depression. I was so down ALL the time. I cried at the drop of the hat and could not find anything that would lift my spirits. I became very good at *faking* a smile to keep people from asking too many questions.
The best advice I received all month was:
"I get it everything around you is changing and you're having trouble making sense of everything. But at the end of the day you need to wake up and say, "I like Christina Harris" and acknowledge that you're happy with where you are and what you're doing in life. Because once you get to a certain age people are going to come and go. And that's okay. All of them serve a purpose in your life. What matters is that you're trying to make yourself a better person and you're doing what you enjoy. Everything else is just stuff. I just learned a very valuable lesson about saying, "No." And it has been liberating. Sometimes we have to go through things that suck or times where we don't feel ourselves in order to learn something. Isn't that what it's all about? Learning something new. "
At some point and time, I was able to get a grip and pull myself back together. I cringe when I recall that dark and lonely period of time. I am grateful that periods of sadness do not happen like that very often - or for an extended period of time.
One last thing that I did in October was attend my very first wine fest. I had a blast with my cousin and sister and I hope we make it a tradition!
November
November went by quickly. It was a simple month. I spent a lot of quality time with myself. I spent quality time with my family. I also had one of the best Thanksgiving celebrations at Rehoboth Beach with the family.
However my favorite memory from this month are my blog entries. I attempted to blog about things that I was thankful for, for thirty days straight. While I was not successful with making it 30 full days, I definitely found myself to be happier and more content. It's amazing what giving thanks can do for the soul. It's also truly incredibly how many little things you become thankful for, when you take the time to reflect each day on all the good.
That experience definitely drew me closer to God and helped me appreciate all that he is doing in my life. I think November was one of my favorite months this year, and I will never forget the feelings of contentment and thankfulness I felt during this time.
December
My sister graduated from college with a degree in sociology!
I enjoyed yet another ladies night with my favorites from Towson. We talked about the potential for Alison to be engaged soon and of weddings and bridesmaids and plans of those sorts.
My cousin Janae visited with her two daughters from North Carolina.
We went on a tour of Washington, D.C. and had a wonderful time. You would think that I visit DC all the time, since it's right in my backyard. However, we hardly go down there and it's always great to go see the landmarks, museums and sights that our Nation's Capital has to offer.
We went ice skating and enjoyed spending time with family.
Christmas was incredible this year. And by incredible, I do not mean the gifts under the tree. I was so blessed spending time with my mother's side of the family. For two nights in a row, all twenty-five of us gathered at my place and then my mother's house for dinner and fellowship. On Christmas day, Tiffany brought her family to join us at my mother's house. It was so nice hanging out with my cousins - especially those of us who are cousins on both sides of the family.
The gift of family and friends is by far the greatest gift anyone could ever receive.
As I was leaving my mother's house last night, I saw these two photos on the wall! How crazy is it that the photographs were taken six years apart. The photo on the left is me in 2006, the photo on the right me this year.
Oh December! You mark the end of an incredible journey for the year 2012. It has been quite the roller coaster ride. I truly grew as an individual and learned so much about myself and what I will tolerate in relationships. I am both excited and nervous to see what trials and blessings the new year will bring.
I am prayerful, however, that this is an awesome year! I hope it is a year in which I truly live life and experience all it has to offer. I want to take advantage of my youth and all of the attractions & opportunities that are in my backyard.
Most of all, I want to continue to develop my character and be the best friend, sister, daughter, teacher and person that I can be. Here's to you 2012 ... and to you 2013.
