Summer Reflections

My fifth year of teaching slowly proved to be one of the most challenging years of my career.

I took on one too many responsibilities (i.e. mentoring two Towson University interns, serving as the special education team leader, being maid of honor for my best friend and serving as the campaign manager for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Man and Woman of the Year Campaign).

My natural job responsibilities added to my stressful load, including case managing thirteen students and co-teaching in three classrooms with three grade level curriculum's. I had new administration, who were often not very supportive or helpful. I had some nasty cases involving lawyers and angry parents. I was spread super thin and my enthusiasm and energy wained as the year went by.

By May, I fell apart. I absolutely cracked. I hit the burn-out stage that people rumor about. Burn-out is real folks. And I was the poster child for it. I was miserable at work. I would cry every day and all day. I began to go through the motions. My heart and soul was no longer in what I did professionally. I questioned if I should resign from the job ... quit. I deemed by mid May that I needed to walk away from kids for the summer months. I would be no good to myself, my summer students or my upcoming school year students if I did not take the time to regroup and relax.

So I stepped out on faith and let go of my summer gig - a camp I had worked at for the past five years. A camp that brought in a considerable amount of income during the summer months. I traded my 8:30 to 4:00pm summer job, for a twice a week [one hour] tutoring gig and many days without a set agenda. And let me tell you, this summer has been life changing. It is exactly what I needed and has made me realize that I will never work summers again if I do not have to.

It's not that I have done anything particularly life changing this summer. I have no vacations to speak about ... no fun plans to recall. But it's been SO great to rest, relax and recover. To make plans as I go. To spend some days in bed all morning, after sleeping in until 11AM. To spend some afternoons outdoors or catching up with old friends. To spend countless hours with Mike ... getting to know one another better ... making new memories together.

I can say as we prepare to enter August, that I am truly refreshed and relaxed. I find out what grade level I am teaching next year [although I pretty much know it's fifth grade] and I am beginning to feel excited about the prospect of what this year will bring! It was an amazing thing to step out on faith this summer ... to let go a little bit and let God ... and I cannot wait to see what this next year will bring. I've got a feeling it will be a year full of new beginnings, blessings and growth!

Good things. Good Progress. Take Time.

Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, neither are you where you used to be.
– Rick Warren

Most of our lives move at such an accelerated pace we don’t always have the time to stop and reflect on how fare we’ve come. We are usually too busy looking ahead. But it’s so important to keep checking in with yourself. We change all the time. It’s easy to get caught up feeling dissatisfied with where you are when you don’t take the time to appreciate how far you’ve come. You don’t have to be exactly where you want to be, but the fact that you are on your way is remarkable. Good things and progress take time.

The Green Eyed Monster

Don’t torment yourself with jealousy. It’s a silly illusion that someone’s life is better than yours when the truth is that each one of us is on a different path.

There are times in life when I let myself get completely consumed with jealousy for someone else’s life, their body, their wardrobe, their talent. It’s a common emotion to experience. They call it the green-eyed monster for a reason. It’s self-destructive and when it’s in the room, it consumes you.  Be strong and don’t focus on what other people have.

Goal: Release any jealousy you have for someone else’s life and allow yourself to feel deep gratitude that you are living your own life.

C | H | A | N | G | E

Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful.
– Buddha

Change is a part of life and there’s no way of getting around it. So accept that your life will be filled with kinds of change, and even though it can sometimes feel uncomfortable, it’s what builds or characters and keeps us moving forward.

Goal: Embrace the changes going on in your life whether they’re positive or negative. They’re all moving you forward and starting a new chapter in your life comes with change. It’s okay to be thankful for blessings.

T | H | I | S

When someone whom I have helped, or in whom I have placed great hopes, mistreats me in extremely hurtful ways, may I regard him still as my precious teacher.
– Dalai Lama

Having compassion for others is so viral to our happiness. We can always learn from people go have hurt us. It’s not possible to go through life without getting hurt. Even our best friends who love us will make us feel angry from time to time. Your best friend is not a perfect friend, which if important to remember. People around you are human too. They make mistakes and that’s important to remember.

Goal: Learn from everyone, even the people who hurt and disappoint you.

Life Mantra.

And this is how I aspire to think and live my life ...

At the moment I am exactly where I need to be.

I used to resist everything and I didn’t trust my higher power. With my recovery and my willingness to change, I now see that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. In this present moment is where I find my happiness.

Goal: Think about where you are in your life today: accomplishments, relationships, career, and be happy for the life you’ve built.

Thank You. Love You.

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.– Anne Frank

So much of my journey thus far has been informed by my parents, their gifts and their flaws. I realized after my recovery that I can learn from my parents, and it’s up to me to make my life what I want it to be.

Goal: Thank your parents for giving you the gift of life and doing their best.

We are not perfect.

No one is perfect, but we can all strive to be better people.

Life is a journey and a process that is constantly presenting us with new opportunities to grow and evolve. Every day and every year offers a chance to continue to be stronger, happier, and more compassionate.

Goal: Set an intention to better yourself and be an inspiration to those around you.

27th Year Goals

Forever – is composed of Nows.
– Emily Dickinson

Stop searching for the next great thing. You are in it right now. The next moment will come to you when it’s ready as long as you stay present. It’s human nature to constantly be distracted by everything we want in life, where we’re going next, and what we’ve left behind. Focus on where you’re at right now with all you have.

Goal: Absorb the moment you’ve in and commit it to memory.

count your blessings

When we count our blessings instead of our problems everything changes for the better.

After treatment, I realized that I had to change my way of thinking about so many things. One of the biggest changes was to focus on all that I had instead of all that I didn’t have. The more I focused on my blessings and the things and people I was grateful for, the more those blessings and people began to show up in my daily life. When you begin to visualize and hold powerful positive imagery in your mind, it appears almost like magic. This is the power of gratitude.

Goal: Make a list of the top five people in your life you can go to for anything.

Mind Blown!

When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.– Confucius

Often when the actions or behaviors of others bother us, it’s a reflection of something we are wrestling with about ourselves. We tend to see a mirror image of our struggles in someone else. If we acknowledge and address this, especially to ourselves, we won’t project our battles onto others. It’s interesting when we dig deep and ask ourselves what’s bothering us. Sometimes, what we find is quite interesting.

Goal: What quality or characteristic of a friend or family member has been driving you crazy? Think about how it might be more related to you than you realized and just start working on it.