Blogger Challenge: Day 19

Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

1. The Single Woman 
2. Jarrid Wilson
3. Little Pink Monster 
4. Marathons and Dog Tags
5. About Life and Love

Each of these blogs represent blogs that I read pretty frequently. They are a representation of both friends and authors ... people I've met in person and people I've connected with far away. Each blog has it's unique style and personality. Each speaker has his/her own unique story to tell. I find a sense of hope and relativity when I reach each post from each of these writers ... they are all phenomenal people and I feel fortunate to share in a glimpse of their worlds. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 17

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why

The waves of the sea help me get back to me. Let the sea set you free.

Blogger Challenge: Day 16

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it.

Ac·cept·ance /əkˈseptəns/

the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

We all have weaknesses. We all struggle from time to time. However it was not until this morning at 2AM, that I realized what my greatest struggle in life has been. Acceptance. I have spent the past twenty or more years of my life trying to fit in. Doing WHATEVER it takes to be accepted. Attempting to laugh at the right jokes or to say the right things at the right time. Trying to watch all of the latest movies and television shows. Showing up to every event I have been invited to, whether truly interested in attending or not. All to fit [or maybe not fit] in.

I also realized what my greatest character flaw in life might be. Jealousy. I never thought of myself as a jealous person. Generally speaking, me being jealous is SO far from the truth. But as I got to thinking about my need to fit in, I realized what I covet [and frequently] are personalities. I constantly watch others, during group hangouts, at staff meetings, in hallway interactions, and envy their personalities. Amy's laugh. Jordan and Shin'ae's one liners. Alicia's ability to strike up and carry on a conversation with anybody. Kelly's sense of humor. Erica's wittiness. 

I want what they have. What they posses. I want to be the center of attention. The funniest girl in the room. The one everyone wants to be around. The one everyone adores. I want to be the first person people think of when they invite people out for an event. I want my words to be the last thing people remember when they depart from my company. I want anyone and everyone to like me. And I want them to like me by the standards that I deem as desirable.

I view myself as too quiet. Not funny enough. Boring. I beat myself up day after day for not speaking up. For not having the last joke. For not being energetic enough or being interesting enough while holding a conversation. 

I do not know that these are the thoughts other people have of me. But they are very much the thoughts that I have of me ... and therein lies my weakness. I beat myself up for being [or not being] these things. I tell myself lies - you are not good enough or worthy enough. I go into social settings and start off the life of the party. And I slowly fade to black as I watch the interactions that others have with one another and grow jealous. I watch in envy and wish I possess the same traits. And then I feel like I am not accepted, and I need to change who I am to fit in. To be accepted.

THIS is not okay. This is not healthy. And as of this morning at 2AM, I vowed to make a change. A change in my thinking. A change in my belief system. A change in the thoughts I believe about myself. Because it suddenly became very obvious to me, that I will NEVER be happy if I continue to live like this. I will never feel like I am good enough which will lead to a vicious cycle of discontent.

More importantly, I realized that I am literally spitting in the face of God. He made me in his image. To him, I am perfect. To him, I am a masterpiece. How dare I spit in his face and tell him that his work was done in vain. That it is incomplete. Not good enough. Not accepting myself ... that's the greatest insult I could send HIS way.

And thus, today began my journey towards acceptance. Not other's acceptance of me ... but acceptance of myself. For exactly who I am. Today. Tomorrow. Next Week. For my strengths and for my flaws. For my talents and my shortcomings. I vow to work everyday, for the rest of my life, on loving me. Because if I love myself and accept myself, I will truly be happy. 

And if I am able to truly love myself and accept myself, then I will allow others to do the same. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 15

Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)

I am teacher ... so there is NO way I could possibly capture a photo an hour throughout the course of my typical day. I was lucky enough, however, to snap a shot of me and five of my students during a lunch bunch today. These students are incredible and I am SO VERY BLESSED to work with them each and every day. I am grateful for the impact they have had in my life ... my only hope is that I have had a profound impact on their lives as well. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 14

Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy

1. My favorite song played on the radio.
2. Sunny and 70 degree weather.
3. My toes in flip flops on the dashboard of a moving car.
4. Spending quality time in the company of loved ones.
5. A spontaneous adventure. 
6. Sitting by the water and watching the sun set.
7. Working with children.
8. Blogging ... it's an outlet for creative writing and journaling my innermost thoughts.
9. A good night's sleep.
10. Being outdoors: on a hike, on a snowboard, on the beach ... simple serenity.

Blogger Challenge: Day 13

Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

Dear Annie, 

I have to be honest. I have not been the best friend the past two years. Although I have made time for you, and traveled down to Virginia to visit with you ... I have consistently chosen time spent with boys over spending a longer amount of time hanging out with you. I feel guilty sometimes thinking about this. It makes me realize how much time changes things. How much I have changed within the past two years. I am sure I am not the friend you once loved and adored. And for that I am sorry. 

I am sorry for not keeping in touch as much as I should. For lacking patience and empathy when you share with me your frustrations about your counseling internship. For withholding information from you about the men I date ... because I think [and sometimes know] you would not be able to relate. I am sorry for no longer wanting to do sleep overs, or spend long extended weekends in your company. I am sorry for our same old boring routine - go to the mall, window shop, grab food. 

But mostly ... I am sorry for the events of New Year's weekend in January. When you pooped all over my bathroom and did not clean it up. Instead of freaking out ... I should've stopped to make sure that you felt okay. That you were okay. You never did come back to my house after that incident. I also apologize for our last hangout in February. I rushed down to your place only to rush out early to spend time with my guy. That memory still haunts me ... I know you wanted to hang out longer, but I was not interested in that.

Not hearing from you on your birthday ... when I called to wish you a happy birthday ... haunted me the most. To this day I am unsure of whether you were just too busy or if you just choose not to respond. But that's where we last left off. And now I often feel like too much time has passed to pick up the phone or send a text. I wouldn't know what to say. I wouldn't know where to begin. So I wish upon shooting stars that if we are supposed to be lifelong friends ... if we are supposed to remain in one another's lives ... that our paths will cross naturally again.

Because I am trying to reassure myself in all of this that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I am not sure what our friendship story holds ... but know that I think about you every day. And I am wishing on a star that you are happy, healthy and killing it in your internship. You deserve that. I want that for you. You are totally capable of achieving that.

So Annie ... this apology is to you. I hope you know that I miss you. That I love you. And that I am sorry for any hurt or pain I have caused you during the past two years as I lost myself, found myself and lost myself again.

Blogger Challenge: Day 12

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

I miss being young and carefree.  Dancing on table tops to the beat of my favorite song. Partying all night long. I miss the spirit and attitude that I possessed when I was eighteen. I miss loving someone with my whole entire heart. That first love, love you forever kind of love. I miss being sensitive and caring ... overly devoted to my friends. I miss the Christina that put others first ... who actually listened for the answer to, "How are you doing?" I miss my time spent in college. The nights out on the town. The experience of several firsts. The world being at my fingertips. The only responsibility of attending class and making the grade. The time to hang out with friends forever. I miss the energy I used to possess when I was younger. But mostly, I miss being young and carefree.

Love Yourself

Blogger Challenge: Day 11

Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less

I am a fun-loving, twenty-six year old outdoor enthusiast.

A Prayer for Every Twentysomething

by Paul Angone

I pray that you will know that you’re enough even when you don’t feel like you’re accomplishing much of anything.

I pray that you will give yourself grace in not knowing what you’re doing while you figure out what to do.

I pray that you will listen to that small, still voice inside of you that is screaming to be heard.

I pray that you will dream big and be faithful in the small. (want to tweet that?)

I pray that you will be plagued by peace even when the world feels infected by the contrary.

I pray you will define, refine, own, and hone who you are. That you will have the courage to find your signature sauce no matter how many failed experiments it takes to get there.

I pray that staring at the blank white walls in front of you won’t overwhelm you, but will give you the excitement to pick up a brush and paint.

I pray that you will create.  That you will walk through your day expecting to see something amazing. You’re living in a masterpiece.

I pray you’ll have the courage to change. That you will never know the cold confused complacency of thinking you’ve got it all figured out.

I pray that you’ll put your phone down when you sit on the toilet because you don’t have to be online every second. And come on, I might need to borrow your phone someday and that’s just gross.

I pray that the heavy weight of all the unknowns will feel surprisingly light. (click to tweet)

I pray that the next movie you stream on Netflix will actually be worth your time.

I pray that when a friend calls, you will pick up the phone even when it doesn’t feel like the right time to talk. Because for many years in your twenties it might not feel like the right time to talk.

When it feels like God is not answering your prayers for all the big things you’re crying out for, I pray that you’ll see that maybe God is not ignoring you. Maybe God is saving your life.

I pray that you will mentor and be mentored. That you will intentionally seek out those who you can help and those who might want to help you.

I pray that at least once this year when everyone’s stuck in traffic that you will pull over in a field and lay on the hood of your car.

I pray that you will truly embarrass yourself once this year going for something that you feel completely incapable of going for. And that you’ll realize how much you can accomplish along the path to a failed end result.

I pray that you’ll look a few people in the eyes this week and tell them how much you love them.

I pray that you will war for hope.

I pray that you won’t need to hit rock bottom before you begin your descent back up.

The next time you do a belly flop, I pray you’ll see that God is waiting there, ready to wrap your hurting body in a big warm towel.

I pray that when you feel like you’ve got nothing left, you will realize that sometimes breaking is the only way to become whole.

I pray that you’ll know when it’s time to run and when it’s time to crawl.

I pray you’ll know when it’s time to work in a cubicle and when it’s time to light it on fire.(want to tweet that?)

This is my prayer for you.

http://allgroanup.com/twentysomething-life-2/a-prayer-for-every-twentysomething/

Blogger Challenge: Day 9

Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Do not resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 8

Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.


A piece of advice for others right now? Always speak your truth. 

In doing so, you are being real and you are being true to yourself. It is the hardest thing to do sometimes, but I promise it is a guaranteed way to bring peace over your life and your decisions. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 7

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

I am most afraid of being alone. Growing old by myself with no one to share a life with. I am afraid of never finding a man, who loves me for me. Who can celebrate my strengths and cherish my flaws. I am afraid of never falling in love again ... that first love, romance on fire, love of my life kind of love. This fear consumed me for years in the past. And while it's currently at bay, it rears it's ugly head again from time to time. It's a demon I cannot shake ... cannot rid myself of. And I am curious to see [with time] what the future has in store for me.

Blogger Challenge: Day 6

Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

I spend time in the company of family and friends. I go on adventures outdoors ... whether it be snowboarding down mountains in the winter or hiking up them in the spring. I drink wine and lots if it. I visit different breweries and try their samplers. I workout and try to stay in shape. I go for runs and compete in 5Ks and 10Ks. I attend baseball games and football games. 

I binge watch Netflix series and reality TV. I take photos and design websites. I blog and write. I sing my favorite songs and bust out my off beat dance moves. I eat chocolate and lots of it. I travel when I can ... whether it be within the state or outside of the country. I LOVE to travel and explore scenic places. I love to find myself sitting down by the water. I love to do anything and everything that pleases my soul ... that allows me to feel free ... to feel alive. What do I do? I live my life to the fullest and try to never miss a beat.

Blogger Challenge: Day 5

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member.

Yesterday was we celebrated the 28th birthday of my best friend, Kathryn Keenan. She is hands down the BEST friend that I have ever had. I consider her my big sister and my soul mate. We met my freshman year of college at Towson University, when she roomed with my childhood best friend Natasha. 

Kat Keenan has a strong personality. When I first met her back in 2006, I did not like her. I felt she was taking away my best friend (Natasha) from me. Although Kat was always kind to me, her pushiness and bluntness turned me off. Yet, I would continue to attend parties with Natasha and her and humor her company.

My sophomore year, we were friendlier and made plans to live together during my junior year. That year, NPP was born <No Party Poopers>. Kat and I became very close, very quickly and truthfully the rest of our friendship story is history. We were one another's wing woman. We were always up for a party or a good time. We became inseparable. She immediately was dubbed my best friend.

Kat went on to graduate from Towson, and I remained for one final year. She moved off campus into a neighboring suburb, but that did not dim the light on our friendship. If anything, it made us grow closer together. 

Flash forward five years, and we are closer than ever. Kat will marry her best friend July 25, 2015, and I have the honor of being her Maid of Honor on that special day. It would be an understatement to say our friendship makes people jealous. Kat's on fiance always laments that if she had to choose between he or I ... she would always choose me. 

I am not sure how I got so lucky discovering a friend in someone like Kat. However, I cherish all of our memories together and the special bond that we share. I pray that we remain lifelong friends ... sharing all of life's milestones together. She is one of the only people who knows the words to my song when I forget the lyrics. I appreciate her truthfulness, her loyalty and her companionship. There is NEVER a dull moment when we are together. No topic off limits. No activity too dull or boring. No drink undrank. She is one of the most important people in my life and I cherish every laugh, every cry, every heart to heart we have shared together. 

Blogger Challenge: Day 4

Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it

I would really like to get a tattoo, of the biblical scripture Romans 8:28. This scripture states, "All things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

This quote reassures me that things are always working in my favor, even when it does not seem like it. It gives me comfort to know that God has a plan for my life and it's not to harm me or lead me down the wrong path. 

I recite this quote when ever I am going through tough times, or when things are not working out the way I had envisioned them. It's sort of my fancy way of reminding myself to "Let Go and Let God" every single day.

Blogger Challenge: Day 3

Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable

Dog drool. Getting my hands dirty - literally. Small, crowded spaces. Humidity. Bad body odor. Invasion of my personal space. Ants. Bugs. Spiders. High heeled shoes. Foods with gluten in them. Jokes that discriminate. The smell of curry. Taking baths. Dirty homes. Clutter.

Blogger Challenge: Day 1

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less...

My name is Christina. I was born on August 16 and I grew up in Germantown, Md. I am the oldest of three children, and act very much like a first born child. Growing up, my mother was a stay at home mom and my dad worked night shifts. It is perhaps the greatest, most cherished sacrifice I think two parents could make. Mom was around to help raise us and Dad's work scheduled permitted him to be up with us in the afternoon for homework, sports practices and to eat together as a family at the dinner table. 

At a young age, I knew that I wanted to become a teacher. I used to make the day care kids (neighborhood kids that my mom watched before and after school) sit through my lessons. I also aspired to be a children's book author ... but I gave up that dream to become a blogger instead. I was heavily involved in sports and after school activities. I played basketball, soccer and swam on the neighborhood swim team growing up. I also was a Girl Scout for 10 years. 

Some of my closest friends still today, are the girls I participated in these activities with. I cherish my childhood and the memories I have growing up. It was a special time - one that I hope to give my kids one day. In school, I was a total good girl. Earned straight A's almost always and was in all of the honors classes. I struggled a lot with who I was. I was teased for being "too white" and that made me ashamed of my grades and academic accomplishments. 

Sad but true, I have ALWAYS wanted to fit in. But fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I have always stood out. My path has been very different than my friends and I continue to struggle, to this day, with accepting the journey I am on albeit lonely sometimes. I went to Towson U for College - and it was perhaps the greatest four years of my life! I learned SO much ... grew up SO much ... and made some friends that I will certainly keep for a lifetime. 

This time in my life was also dark at times ... as I wrestled with depression and other dark demons. These demons would follow me out of college and haunt me for years ... until recently. First loves break your heart the hardest ... and the scars I wear from that relationship have impacted me in more ways than what I could have ever imagined. I am grateful, however, for the struggle. It has made me who I am today. 

Since college, I have been teaching special education for five years. I have moved out of my parents house and lived on my own. I have purchased a new car ... traveled ... and lived life to the fullest. The past two years have been two of the GREATEST of my life. I have learned SO much about myself as a woman and I have had so many wonderful experiences/life lessons. I am excited to see what the rest of this year has in store for me, if not the rest of my life. I am truly a blessed and it's incredible to see how God works in our lives ... when we let him.

And that folks, would be my life story (although it's probably not 250 words or less).

Blogger Challenge

I want to get back to the basics. You know, the writing stuff. I am so incredibly busy that I neglect this little blog. And when I do find time to sit down and write, my thoughts are as dry as the Sahara Desert. So I am taking on the Blogger Challenge - a challenge to blog every single day, for thirty days. Are you with me!? 

 There really aren't any rules. If you miss a day, you can make it up or skip it. The blog police will not come knocking. Here are the topics. You can be as creative and awesome or as boring and bland as you like with these. Take 'em and run with it. Use creative post titles. Interpret each "prompt" however you like. There's no wrong way to do it. Have fun.

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)
Day 2, Thursday: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)
Day 3, Friday: Things that make you uncomfortable
Day 4, Saturday: Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it
Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member
Day 6, Monday: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?
Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
Day 8, Wednesday: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.
Day 9, Thursday: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)
Day 10, Friday: Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 
Day 11, Saturday: Sell yourself in 10 words or less
Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)
Day 13, Monday: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.
Day 14, Tuesday: Ten things that make you really happy
Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day - this could be "a photo an hour" if you'd like)
Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why
Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.
Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them
Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.
Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives
Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)
Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you
Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits
Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)
Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.
Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures
Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. Use Grooveshark or YouTube to include them in the post
Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go
Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory

F O U R

I hardly EVER have time to write anymore! However when I logged on today, I saw this fun little post on some of one of my followers sites! Therefore, I am joining in on the fun .... here we go! 

Four of my Nicknames

1. Chriss (preferred)

2. Nina (My Aunt Missy used to call me this as a kid)

3. Chrissy (only Kat and Anne call me this)

4. Christina Marie (inside joke)

Four Jobs I've Had

1. Special Education Teacher 

2. Summer Camp Counselor 

3. Towson University Tour Guide 

4. Tutor/Nanny

Four Movies I've Watched More than Once

1. Remember the Titans (favorite movie of ALL time)

2. The Aristocats 

3. 27 Dresses

4. The Hunger Games Movies 

Four Things in my Purse (other than my wallet)

1. EOS lip gloss (more than one)

2. Comb

3. Lotion

4. Miscellaneous Bobby Pins 

Four Place I've Lived

1. Germantown, Md

2. Rockville, Md

3. Towson, Md

4. Silver Spring, Md (2016???)

Four Places I've Visited (Outside of the Country)

1. Freeport, Bahamas

2. Italy (June 2016)

3. Greece (June 2016)

4. ????????

Four + Places States I've Visited (In the Country)

1. Florida
2. South Carolina/North Carolina

3. Virgina/West Virginia

4. Pennsylvania/Delaware/New Jersey/New York

Four Places on my Travel Bucket List

1. France

2. Spain

3. Mexico

4. West Coast, USA

Four Things I Don't Eat

1. Spare Ribs

2. Chidlins (sp?)

3. Pigs Feet

4. Indian Food  

Four TV Shows I Watch

1. 19 Kids and Counting

2. Dance Moms

3. Modern Family/The New Girl 

4. gLee (before the show ended)

Four Things to Look Forward to this Year

1. Turning 27

2. My Best Friend's Wedding

3. Starting up my LAST year of graduate school

4. CHANGE! New beginnings, fresh starts ... it'll be good :)

EVERYONE wins when cancer loses

Please join me in supporting The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) by making a donation to my fundraising campaign for Man or Woman of the Year. I am part team Faith. Hope. Believe. working to raise as much as possible in a 10-week period. 

I am doing this campaign in memory of my grandmother, Mary Jane Harris, who passed away from Leukemia when my father was a junior in high school. Although I never had the opportunity to meet her, her memory lives on in the hearts and stories of our family.

I am also doing this campaign to honor my grandfather, James Harris, who passed away from cancer when I was in third grade. I have only a few memories of him, but I am fond of each one. Grandaddy Harris was a warm and loving man, and I wish that I had more time to make more memories with and to learn from him.

I did not know it when I joined the campaign, however many LLS supported therapies not only help blood cancer patients, but are in clinical trials for patients with lung, brain, breast, pancreatic and prostate cancers. And LLS funded drugs like targeted therapies and immunotherapies are now saving thousands of lives every day.

And as you may already know, EVERYONE wins when cancer loses, and thanks to your support, my efforts will help fund the therapies and treatments that save lives, not someday but today.

Over the years, support from people like you has been responsible for the blood cancer advancements that have doubled, tripled, and in some cases quadrupled the survival rate for some blood cancers. We really are getting close to our goal of a world without blood cancers!

All donations are greatly appreciated and tax deductible. They'll not only support LLS research, but patient services, advocacy, public and professional education, and community services as well.

Please visit my Web site often and tell friends who would also like to donate! On behalf of blood cancer patients everywhere, thank you for your support! 

http://www.mwoy.org/pages/nca/dcmetro15/cmharris