Sean called me this evening ... he may be shipping off to bootcamp on Monday. This upcoming Monday instead of June 13th. As excited as I was to hear from him ... to hear his voice ... to know that he shared the news with me before several others .... I was also speechless and choked up. I am going to miss him. I guess I actually do still love and care about him. Sean is going to Parris Island, South Carolina? Sean is going to be a marine? He is not going to be there in the afternoons to chat with me? He will be away for three months and then God knows. I used to dream of this day ... when he went away. When I could finally get over him. When I could move on and find my prince charming. However, there has always been something about Sean. He is the one guy who no matter what ... it is always him. I always come back to him. He can treat me terribly, yet I still forgive and give second chances and love. It was always him. It still is him. I wonder what our futures hold. Will our paths cross again romantically? Will we keep in touch and remain friends? Will we grow apart, go our seperate ways, never to hear from one another again?
I am in tears as I right this. Sean was my first love ... my first *real* boyfriend ... my everything. Four years we were together ... all throughout college. He was my first everything. Although our relationship fell apart ... he is still a huge part of me. He has a huge part of my heart. Sean ... my marine. This is your opportunity to do it big! To make something of yourself. To become a man. To do something with your life. To give back to your country. I admire you for your enthusiasm, dedication and commitment to our country. I LOVE YOU and I am SO PROUD <3 No matter what happens, please know that....
"I am nothing special; just a common woman with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough...."
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