Crisis ... Averted :o)

Have you ever realized that facebook is quite possibly one of the BEST and WORSE inventions EVER created? It can make you feel so connected to people and so left out at the same time. My mother called it a bragging platform the other day ... I think of it as a great way to mistake the grass as greener on the other side.

In a perfect world ... I would be the center of attention ... ALWAYS. Everyone would LOVE me and I would get along with everyone. I would always keep friends and never loose them ... I would be the life of the party ... the person everyone wants to talk to or be friends with. A girl can dream huh? Ha! I think about what I just wrote and realize how DUMB that sounds. That is because it is dumb.

I am really working this month on accepting myself for who I am ... flaws and all. Pastor Dale's sermons are touching upon that ... but it is really something I want to embrace. I ... my whole life ... have been one to covet what others have at times ... or what they're doing. WHY!? I think it is an insecurity of mine. I have an overwhelming need to be liked and needed by others. I do a terrible job of doing that for others ... but you know how Leo's roll ... it's all about me. I want to diligently work at changing this over time.

I will not find happiness within ... if I am constantly feeling bad or down about myself because of what other people are doing AND what they may/may not think about myself. I need to love me for me ... and celebrate my positive qualities. I need to work on living in the moment and appreciating life as it comes. I need to really try to work on looking at the glass half full - recognizing the good in my life and letting go of all the rest.

I am speaking it into existence ... OCTOBER will be one of the best months of my life. I want this to be a turning point ... no crossroads ... but a point at which I make every effort to be the best me and love myself inside and out. I am truly blessed and fortunate in so many areas of my life. I need not forget this.

A part of me is wondering if perhaps I should shutdown my facebook and twitter ... try to go a month without it, and really explore myself. HA! I am not there yet ... LOL. Chriss - don't get too far ahead of yourself. But Whew! Crisis averted ... I saw one of my former coworkers (who I am no longer friends with) write on the wall of a former coworker I am friends with ... and I instantaneously became jealous when I realized what had gone on tonight -- some WMES staff had gone out to dinner. And I was not invited. Oh well - everything happens for a reason. averted