reflection

Today I have been reflective. Introspective. Sad. I have cried a few times. I miss him. But then I wonder is it him I miss - or the idea of him? To be determined in the upcoming weeks I am sure. For the most part I am doing okay. Evenings have gotten easier. Tears fall less often. I have developed a new rhythm for my life. 

But then out of nowhere ... BAM! I will be suddenly hit with saddness. A memory of him. An unanswered question. A song that speaks to my soul. And all of the emotions I have gotten over - or so I thought - come flooding back to me. It is one hell of a roller coaster ride.

I may never understand why things fell apart so quickly that fateful October evening. I may never understand why he could not muster up the truth. How do you go from being comfortable with someone to being absolute strangers. It still blows my mind.

I guess one chapter ended. Now it is time to write a new one. Time will tell what new beginnings await in this new one...