The Happy Thirty - Day Nine

Today was THE DAY from hell at work. Love my coworkers ... I've never been more fond of such an incredible group of women. They keep me laughing and smiling when the days are long and behaviors are tough. But these behaviors ... these behaviors these nine boys displayed today are enough to put anyone over the edge. Camp was a nightmare and I was literally counting down the minutes until I could let the door hit where the good lord split these little fellows.

But even in the midst of this crazy storm ... I found something to make me happy. Homemade gluten-free chicken teriyaki for dinner, a glass of Riesling, a modern family marathon on my DVR and sweatpants made the ending to this day perfect. And currently, that is why I am feeling happy.

trust in the process

My heading subtitle currently reads: "Sometimes she doesn't know where she's going until she gets there. She hasn't got it all figured out, far from it in fact. But she loves God and she loves to dance, and she's her own better half." - Mandy Hale.

A quote so raw and true. A quote that I discovered while reading one of Mandy Hale's books  and thought to myself, "This is literally the story of my present day life." A quote that has given me encouragement. A quote that has served as a reminder so many sleepless nights. A quote that resonates with my soul. My twenty-five year old soul. However, as I prepare to enter my twenty-sixth year of my life ... I think it's time for a new blog title and a new subtitle. 

As it would be and should be, Mandy Hale recently took to her blog with a new outlook on her life. And as it would and/or should be, her words resonated with my soul once again. Mandy wrote, "I am no longer where I’ve been. I am not yet where I’m going. I am somewhere in-between; not still the caterpillar but not yet the butterfly. I’m in the becoming…and I’m starting to see that in some ways, the becoming is even better than the being. It’s where the change happens. It’s where the bravery happens. It’s where the magic happens..."

I am certainly no longer where I once stood. I look back on the past year and see how much my life ... my thoughts ... my beliefs ... my friends ... everything has changed. I then think about my dreams and aspirations ... and I am humbled to think I am not yet where I am going. I am not really sure what this in between space is, or for how long I have to remain here. But I am here somewhere in the middle nonetheless. Not quite a caterpillar and not quite a butterfly. But I am changing. I am becoming something that God intends for me to be. I am discovering who this person is ... who this person is supposed to be. And that takes a hell of a lot of faith, trust and bravery. 

So here is my reminder to myself that the magic is about to happen. I have quietly been struggling the past couple of days. Change is hard. Letting go is hard. Moving on is hard. But I am so proud of myself and how far I have come. I am keeping the faith that this test is not the end of me ... but the beginning of something new. The start of a new chapter in my life. It will be something beautiful. I am someone beautiful. I am in the most transformative time of my life ... and I need to trust in the process. 

The Happy Thirty - Day Eight

A hug from the mother of a student made me happy this morning. It felt good to know I made a positive difference in the life of her child. Her words of gratitude and appreciation helped me remember why I do the job that I do.

An email from a coworker, with heartfelt words of affirmation also made me happy. Again, it's always nice to hear positive affirmations from others - especially in the world of teaching where our hard work often goes unnoticed or is under appreciated.

A big hug and an impromptu coffee date with 2.0 made my entire afternoon. It felt so good to actually see her face again and catch up on life. Then working with a client we are now going to share made the afternoon even better. We had SO MUCH FUN working together for two hours - the laughs and jokes were endless, and the quality time spent with the client was unforgettable.

Finally playing at the park with my younger sister tonight helped me end the day feeling happy and overjoyed. It was fun feeling like a kid again ... playing on the playground equipment and watching the sunset fall over the horizon after tonight's ugly thunderstorms.

It seems that finding something to be happy about is getting easier each day ... and I am grateful for the little things ... the little moments with people I love.

The Happy 30 - Day Seven

Hearing Caitlin 2.0's voice on the phone - after eight days of not being able to speak to her - made me happy today. I have missed her sense of humor and how naturally conversation flows between us. We picked up easily where we last left off ... and that warmed my soul.

The older I get, the more I feel like I have less and less true friends. In my high school years and during college, I felt like I had the LARGEST circle of friends. Heck - I had multiple circles for whatever the occasion. The older "we" get <and the busier> the less time "we" really have time to check in and connect with people. Furthermore, its sometimes becomes harder to pick up where you last left off with someone. I have a handful - literally five or less - friends with whom I can pick up and feel like nothing has ever changed.

 Unexpectedly, Caitlin has become one of these friends. She was the most unexpected friend to gain ... looking back to the day I first met her in the halls of RMES, I never would've guessed we would become as close as we have. Nevertheless, I am grateful for her friendship and the crazy energy and understanding she brings to my life.

The Happy Thirty - Day Six

My final grades are in for my first year of graduate school ... drum roll please ... and I finished with a 3.9 GPA! What has made me happy today?

This positive feedback on my final [ten page] paper for my summer course: "Christina - Outstanding job on this case study. You provided a very well-written analysis containing sound advice and excellent ideas. You applied knowledge gleaned from reading and class discussions. Terrific work!"

I have absolutely no idea how I made it through my first year of graduate school ... it was not easy by any stretch. But I did it and I did it well ... and I am ever so thankful for the big man upstairs watching over me through this journey.

I am also feeling happy after finishing a 4 mile run around my neighborhood. The weather is 84 degrees with a cool breeze, which are excellent conditions for running. I felt light on my feet and air in my chest. My running music play list was on point and I felt alive. This concludes a fantastic weekend with friends. I am looking forward to the work week and what positivity I can experience and find within it.

The Happy Thirty - Day Five

As much fun as the Fourth of July was ... I think we partied a little too hard. My Saturday morning hangover - indicated by a massive headache that took the ENTIRE day to pass - reminded me that my twenty-five year old body cannot hang like it used to. A sign of old age I'll tell you.

So what made me happy as I lay hungover on the couch all day? A burrito bowl from chipotle, lots of water, dosing in and out of sleep all afternoon with a fan blowing cool air on me, finishing season two of Orange Is The New Black and an unexpected visit from my good friend Terwilliger.

Although it was a lazy day, my body get the rest it needed.

The Happy Thirty - Day Four

Fourth of July. Independence Day. Merica. Perfection.

Tradition says that I celebrate the 4th of July with my family. We barbecue at my mother's house then travel to a nearby *spot* to see the fireworks. Always have done this. Thought I always would. However this year I wanted to change things up a little. So I celebrated the 4th with dear friends from college. It was a wonderful time and filled my soul with happiness.

I may not see my Towson friends everyday. We all come from different sides of the track. We all relate to one another in different ways. However I truly feel like this group of people have become family. Our ties back to those tigertown days are unmistakable. Our fellowship together always feels irreplaceable. No matter how much time goes by - or how much our lives change - we are all interconnected and it's always a damn good time when we see each other.

While I may not remember all of what occurred that evening, I am blessed to have celebrated the holiday with some of my best friends.