G R A T E F U L [TUESDAY]

List 10 things that you are grateful for other than Jesus and your family. I know you are thankful for those two. Let’s stretch. It doesn’t have to be big. 

Today I am thankful for ...

1. The tax return deposited into my bank account yesterday.
2. Pajama pants. 
3. A cool drink of water in a solo cup.
4. Surviving today and coming out untouched.
5. Make-Up Remover Wipes.
6. The warmer weather. 
7. Discernment. 
8. Phone calls with dear friends.
9. A bed to sleep in.
10. Gas to fill up my tank with.

What are you thankful for today?

36 Questions That Will Bring You Love

The 36 questions that, science says, will bring you love:

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
   I think it would be interesting to sit with my dad's parents. They have both passed away and I never had a relationship with either of them. So I'd like to entertain them as dinner guests ... hear about their lives growing up, hear about how my father was as a child, tell them about all that I am doing and passionate about. I would like that very much. 
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
   All that I want to do is make a difference in the life of another. To me that's fame. That's doing something worth people talking about. 
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
   No. Unless it's a courageous conversation that needs to occur. And if it were that, it'd rehearse just to make sure I knew what points I needed to make or say. I am not good at articulating what's on my heart when under pressure or caught off guard. 
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
   Being outdoors. An impromptou trip somewhere outdoors. Whether it be a hike in Great Falls. Or hiking in Harper's Ferry. Going camping or attending a bonfire. Snowboarding or hitting up the beach. Put me outside on an unplanned trip ... and my heart will fill to the brim with joy.
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
   I sing to myself ALL the time. While typing a grad school paper. While in the shower. While cleaning my place. There's no limit to when I will bust out in tune. If someone else hears me ... they should consider themselves lucky.
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
   The mind ... who wants to be skinny and fit but cannot remember the name of their granddaughter?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
   Nope. 
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
   So I'll answer this based on the guy I've been talking to for a while now. We are both special education teachers. We both love to snowboard. We both love to listen to music and dance.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
   There's so much. But the most? I'd have to say each and every experience I have had. The good ones. The bad ones. The ugly ones. All have made me who I am today. 
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
    I wish my parents had spoken to us more about things like politics, finance, and history. Some of my friends are so well versed on a variety of subject matters. And I believe it all started in their homes at the dinner table. 
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
    If I only had four minutes ... I would tell them about my experiences as a child. Being ridiculed for being too white. My struggles with public speaking. My passion for teaching when I was a first grader. About my ambition and persistance in going after what I wanted, whether it be the fieldhockey team or enlisting my dad as our basketball coach. Then I would detail the most significant part of my life ... the past six years.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
    I would like to be more outgoing. Say whatever comes to mind. Be bolder, louder, funnier. 
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
    I'd want to know about my future. When am I going to get married? To Whom? How many children will I have?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
    Traveling to Europe. Money.
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
    The past year. Finally moving on from my ex. Finally finding myself and becoming comfortable with the skin I am in.
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
    Loyalty. 
17. What is your most treasured memory?
    My childhood. It was a good one. 
18. What is your most terrible memory?
    My first heartbreak.
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
    Yes. I would make an effort to be more selfless. To really listen to my loved ones when they speak and tell me how they are doing. And to never take any moment for granted.
20. What does friendship mean to you?
    Everything. My girls mean everything to me. And I am so fortunate to have found good ones. 
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
    My love language is affection (in verbal form).
22. [Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.]
    For the guy I talk to currently ... He is kind and genuine. He has a good sense of humor. He is spontaneous. He fights for the underdog.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
    I come from a very close knit, warm and loving family. Hands down my childhood was happier than most other people's. Without a doubt.
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
    She is truly one of my best friends. Noone knows me or understands me better.
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
    ....
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
    The small insignificant nothings of my day. Sometimes I just want to talk feeling and emotion. I just need to hear that you care. 
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
    I will always have the thought in the back of my head that I am not good enough ... that there's someone else out there who is prettier, funnier and better for you.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
    I like you. You have the prettiest eyes and the weirdest teethy smile. It drives me nuts that you are balding a bit, but I also find it to be YOU. I love your sense of humor. You tell the funniest jokes and have the best comebacks. It drives me crazy that you have a little ADHD going on. But I love that that's you. And you do not try to hide it. I like your sense of adventure. That you do you. Without guilt. You always stay true to yourself. You embrace who you are. No ifs ands or buts.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
    I honestly cannot think of anything.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
    In front of another? It's been a while. By myself ... today.
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
    When you make an effort. To call me out of the blue. To text me something random. To message me on facebook or tag me in a post. To invite me out to something. I appreciate it and it makes me giddy.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
    Hmm. Me being boring or not funny. Me being too white. There's a limit.
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
    I would regret not telling Mike how I truly feel. I haven't told him because I am afraid of getting hurt. 
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
    My photo albums/picture box. Those are perfect moments frozen in time. Memories of moments I'll cherish forever.
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
    My mother. She is my rock. I could not imagine getting this far in life without her. If she left suddenly tomorrow, I am not sure who I'd have left to truly turn to and understand me. 
36.  Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
    I currently have no real problems that I need advice on ... it's all girl drama [if even that].

Quote To Live By - 2015 Edition -

THIS quote means EVERYTHING to me. It is constantly in the back of my mind ... when I feel helpless, when I feel weak, when I feel that I have stepped outside of my comfort zone. This year has already been one of GREAT change ... and this quote keeps me grounded ... keeps me humble ... makes me press forward even when the waters are stormy. 

“Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My power performs most brilliantly.”

As we prepare to enter the month of March ... I look forward to continuing to embrace my weaknesses! 

A Sunday Well Spent ...

Maryland was hammered with snow yesterday! I am talking 13+ inches in some spots of Montgomery County. I literally sat in my apartment ALL day. I dosed in and out of sleep. I watched all of Season 2 of The New Girl. I literally rode the couch because the roads were dangerously slippery and there was nothing else to do.

So what is a girl to do when the following day is sunny and 35 degrees? You hit the slopes of course! Thank the LORD for my younger sister. She was the only person willing to drive an hour with me to Ski Liberty and drop $100 bucks to go on the slopes for four hours. She had never been snow boarding before, yet she took three slopes by storm and never complained once. I am so proud of her and I had such an AMAZING time!

We finished our trip with hot dogs and lemonade by an open fire -- YES this ski resort had fire pits all over the place. It was a beautifully, wonderful day and I am so grateful for Michelle's companionship :o) Here's to the last week in February and a few shots from our fun filled day!

Life Lessons

Hey There Blogger Fam! 

I am so sorry for abandoning you ... but life has been busy, busy, busy! I have been meaning to write, however I have had no inspiration. Truthfully, that's a GOOD thing! The times I am most compelled to write are when things are going wrong in my life. Of late, life has been pretty good :o) I am counting my blessings on that note too -- I am so grateful for less craze. 

In efforts to spark my creative juices, I took a walk down blogger lane today revisiting some of my old posts. And I came across this entry ... posted about a year ago ...

Life Lessons at 25

Although I am months away from my 26th birthday, this year has taught me many life lessons. This year has been anything but easy. I have laughed and I have cried. I have lived and I have regretted. I have loved and I have hurt. But through all of the ups and downs of this year, I have most importantly learned valuable lessons that are changing the way I behave and think about things. So in reflection of the lessons learned, and in preparation for what is to come, I present to you what this year's experiences have taught me.

• Be honest and direct. It'll save you the trouble of anything, later. 
• Say what you mean. Mean what you say. See number two for clarification.
• Instead of waiting for the man of your dreams to find you, live a life that will bring you two together. 
• Live your life. To the fullest. Live it as you see fit or BEST. 
• Take advantage of opportunities given to you. You're lucky if the opportunity comes around a second time, after you've missed it the first. 
• No one likes to have games. Or to have games played with them. Especially when dating.
• Let go. Let God. Worrying only gives you a stomach ulcer.

It's exactly one year later and I am now twenty-six. However the beauty in my post is that ALL of those life lessons continue to remain true! I was JUST saying over dinner tonight that people need to say what they mean and mean what they say, most importantly being direct and clear. 

What are the odds that I wrote about this VERY thing almost a year ago. I have worked tirelessly at living my life to the fullest and the way I see fit. I've been taking advantage of ALL opportunities. And most importantly ... my resolution for 2015 ... to let go and let God.

I continue to struggle with worrying. More specifically becoming anxious and worrisome over situations beyond my control. Nonetheless ... I am SO very blessed and SO very fortunate to have had a year to grow, mature, and really put these life lessons to practice. These life lessons have become my core values ... my mantras ... and I think they are excellent ones at that. 

If you are reading this, I hope some of these lessons make an impact on you ... whether it be new learning or reinforcement that those concepts are the things that matter. YOU reading this are important and wise - and I wish you the VERY best this year! What life lessons have you been learning?

Hello February

I have been so unmotivated to blog lately. Maybe it's because life keeps me busy. I hardly have time to maintain a house and read for class ... let alone tap away at the keyboard. But maybe it's also because for once nothing is terribly wrong in my life. Sure, some things are out of balance. But the times I am most a writer, are the times that I am in the most anguish. When I am in despair and upset. The times when I need a creative outlet for the emotions and feelings I bottle up inside. But hallelujah, I rejoice for that is not the place [or mental space] I currently find myself in. A sign of growth? I'd like to think so.

One of my resolutions for 2015 was to let go and let God more. THAT my friends has been quite the challenge. I like to be in control of my ship ... I like to set the sails and to steer the course. However, it's been single handedly one of the hardest things for me to work on ... at keeping my hands off the wheel. Sure, it's scary at times and a tad alarming. However, I feel less stress ... less anxiety ... less out of control ... when I surrender to HIM.

I worked SO HARD last year at letting go of insecurities and fears from past relationships. And I can truly say, I am there! I've essentially mastered that goal. So this year, I am going to work tirelessly at letting go and letting HIM take control. And maybe ... just maybe this time next year, I will be able to reflect and smile at my victory on this crash course in life.

With my efforts to let go, I am also working hard to embrace, to live, to embody this statement: Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My power performs most brilliantly.” A current struggle is accepting my weaknesses. For so long, I've tried to hide them. To cover up my shortcomings ... to put on a facade for all that everything was awesome. And that's tiring and it can be lonely at times. It eats at your self-esteem. It makes you feel bad about yourself. And this year ... I am NOT about that life. I will no longer be ashamed of my weaknesses ... but rather I am celebrating them. Not because I enjoy being weak. Not because I particularly like my areas of weakness. But I celebrate them because I am excited about how God uses our weaknesses for good. How through our weaknesses, he can move mountains and change hearts. How he can bring about blessings and use us to carry out his will ... through these weaknesses. 

So I encourage you too today <whether a believer or not> to try to do two things as we enter the month of February. I encourage you to let go and live in the moment. Stop trying to control things beyond your control. Trust me ... you feel so much lighter ... so much happier ... so much less stressed when you do. And I encourage you to stop running from your weaknesses. Stop hiding them from others. Embrace them. Acknowledge them. Own them. And trust that your weakness is being used for good! That amazing things will happen in your life, regardless of them. And that maybe ... these amazing things are happening because of them.

January was quite the start to 2015! I grew a lot and learned a lot and began working on my mindset. I am excited for the month of February, and to see what is coming my way! And I am excited to hear about the good things that are occurring in your life too!

Happy February 1st - and happy Super Bowl Sunday! 

One Single Solitary Resolution for 2015

I have started off this New Year differently than ever before.

I have literally been repeating the phrase, "Jesus take the wheel. Lord direct my steps." My single, solitary resolution for this year is to work on having faith. On trusting that all things are working out for my good. That with new seasons in my life, I will be abundantly blessed. That I will grow more into the woman I am supposed to be.

I am surrendering <as much as my "needs to be in control self" can> my need to have all the answers. I am trying to believe - consistently - that God's plan for my life is SO much greater than the one I have for myself.

And in the midst of this incredible test of faith and giving up control, I am taking time each day to remember how far I've come, not just how far I have to go. Although I may not be where I want to be, I am not where I used to be. And that within itself is a blessing. A testimony. 

So in 2015, I resolve to have faith. Faith that all things will work on for my good. When the timing is right.

What have you resolved to do in 2015?