Be Encouraged.

These words gave me hope today. They made me feel encouraged during this rough patch that I am currently going through. I hope these words uplift your spirits too :o)

"Someone once told me to always live for the little things in life. Live for 5am sunrises and 5pm sunsets where you'll see colors in the sky that don't usually belong. Live for road trips and bike rides with music in your ears and the wind in your hair. Live for days when you're surrounded by your favorite people who make you realize that the world is not a cold, harsh place. Live for the little things because they will make you realize that this is what life is about, this is what it means to be alive" ― Anonymous

“We have to start recognizing love as a smile from a stranger on a day you’re feeling like there’s no hope left, and a text on your birthday from your once secret lover because they remembered you somehow, and being able to pay the bills or not and feed yourself or not but regardless know you’re trying and at the end of it all, just being able to take a breath and feel happy for absolutely no reason at all.” — Brianna Wiest,

Appreciate Being Single.

So the thirty-two year old guy, that I fell madly in LIKE with, turned out to be an ASSHOLE. I mean if I were to be honest, I got a funny feeling after our second date. Something just was not clicking and I couldn't figure out what it was. After our third date, when he pulled the ghost act, I couldn't help but feel as though this guy was beginning to remind me of my EX who TOO was the ultimate ASSHOLE.

But in Christina fashion, I kept hoping and believing that things would get better. That things would turn around. I mean, let's be real. I hardly ever fall in like with guys. The fact that this guy was 32, owned his own HOUSE, and taught special education made me swoon with raw emotion. He was tall and handsome. He had swagger for a white boy. He loved listening to old school R&B music. What was there NOT to like? I admired him so much and was drawn to his magnetic personality. The fact that he kept choosing to contact and hang out with me made him seem even more appealing.

But my gut continued to pulse, "NEXT." And after hanging out this past weekend, I've decided that this guy needs to get the BOOT. He did the ultimate ghost act AGAIN after we had made plans to hang out. Claimed he got caught up drinking with the boys. Blamed me for not texting him first to confirm our plans. And poof! Just like that, he fell off the face of the earth. Dejavu? I did this song and dance with my EX for four years too many.

One of my girlfriends said to me the other day, "I think you are attracted to a certain type of guy, and I am starting to believe that the type isn't healthy for you. You give your all and that's what you need to start doubting because you do not deserve to take someone's crap. You deserve the best." 

And after much reflection, I have realized that my friends are all right. I continue to settle for guys who do not value my worth. I once wrote a blog about God's perfect timing ... and I can clearly see that he is at it again. I stumbled across two articles/blogs the past two days that are literally crying out from the mountain tops to me. 

One guy said: "Women have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum. Eventually, [they] will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve, the things that used to be romantic and expected of men. Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway." 

In reflection, the above statement is SO TRUE about me! I have allowed the guys I have been interested in the most, get away with doing barely anything. I am always afraid to speak up and ask for what I deserve, which results in my getting upset when I feel like I am being taken advantage of or played for a fool. But news flash ... I hold the cards! And I need to change MY approach to how I date men and who I am selecting for being potential dates. 

The other guy wrote: "As a woman, you have to have the confidence in yourself to know that you deserve someone who is into you. Don’t play the games. There are no games to be played here. It’s very cut and dry. If they’re into you, they’re into you, if they’re not, they did you a great service. If they text you instead of calling you, they don’t want a conversation on the phone.  Don’t play the games with the person. Be honest with yourself to know what you want as a person. Value yourself enough to know – they’re not going to play a texting game with you if they’re into you. At the same time, don’t make it so over-complicated that you scare the guy away. It should be simple. Like dancing."

Again, the above statement is TRUE! I need to be honest with myself and determine what is it that I want in a potential partner? And I need to build my confidence that I deserve someone who is in to me ... not someone who is going to be an ASS and take advantage of me.

I am SO glad that I came across both articles AND that both were written from the perspective of a male. My girlfriends are GREAT however they think like me - a girl. We often romanticize things and try to sugar coat and/or find excuses. The posts written by these two men were honest and real - cut and dry - black and white. And their words were exactly what I needed to hear. 

So in closing, I am ending the chapter of the 32-year-old gentleman boy. And I am going to turn to a fresh page to rewrite the chapter of the 25-year-old single woman. It is time to return to becoming everything that I want for myself, appreciating what I have to offer and setting the standards for what I expect from another person. 

As Daniel Goddard said, "You need to be able to appreciate being single because that is when you will grow the most, and with that growth, you’ll come to know what you’re looking for. Great things will happen to you when you respect yourself and embrace that you are here on this planet to do something wonderful. Find whatever it is that’s wonderful and do it. And with that you will attract someone wonderful."

THIS is why I teach.

A good friend of mine posted the excerpt below as her face book status this evening. After a long and somewhat frustrating day with special education students, I was feeling down and out ... until I came across this status. These words explain exactly why I wake up and go into school every morning. I teach in hopes that I will touch the life of at least one child ... that I will make a long lasting difference in their little words. I am so glad that I had an opportunity to read the words below ... it woke me up this afternoon, a solemn reminder of why I need to shake off the frustrations of today and go into work tomorrow with a smile on my face! 

Occasionally, in the business of children, you'll come across those who, in their short few years, have fashioned a tough exterior. You'll know, from experience, that any efforts to push your way through will be futile. This is where you dig your heels in, present yourself at the beginning and say, "You have the tools you need. I'll be over here if you need me." And you are. Every single time.

One day, you'll look up and see this child standing before you and he'll say, "Remember that time over at the table, when I told you to get out of my life?" And you will say, "Yes?" And then he will say what you are hoping he would say and that is, "I didn't mean it."

But it doesn't end there. This brief exchange restores your faith in who you are and why you do what you do. Deal sealed.

- Kim Soles 

Words of Inspiration for Today

"Today, get a new perspective. God has given you exactly what you need for the season that you’re in. You have the talent, the friends, the connections, the resources, the experience you need for right now. It doesn’t mean that’s all you’re ever going to have. You may need more next month or next year. When that time comes, God will make sure that you have what you need. Because your trust is in the Lord, you don’t have to worry. You lack no good thing." - Joel Osteen

I needed to hear this ... maybe you do to :o)

My Weekend in Pictures

My weekend was FABULOUS and I hope, if you're reading this, that yours was too! Here's my weekend in review:

FRIDAY

I drove 7 hours round trip to and from Busch Gardens in Willamsburg, VA. It was my first time at this park as an adult and I had a great time overall :o) It was fun to get away with some old friends and enjoy the sunshine and scenery. So many times during that trip, I wanted to give up while driving. It is SO stressful driving 6 people in a min van, going 70 hours per hour and having NO CLUE where you're going. The GPS kept losing signal and giving us the wrong directions. At one point, I seriously thought that we would never make it to our destination. But we got to and from the park in one piece, and I can cross driving more than an hour to an unfamiliar place off of my bucket list! 

SATURDAY

I drove my family down to the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, MD and we celebrated my dad's 54th birthday! We dined and grubbed at Bubba Gumps - which was truly a great time together! We then walked a few blocks to Federal Hill and overlooked the entire city. My dream is to move to Baltimore - before starting a family. I absolutely love it down there and it's always so much fun to return and visit my old stomping grounds! 

SUNDAY

My family and I went up to the Linganore Winery for the Reggae Wine Fest! Mom made potato salad and chicken, and I brought some cheese and crackers. We sat outdoors in beautiful weather and listened to live Reggae music while sipping on bottles of tasty Linganore Wine! I purchased a bottle of their Blackberry wine ... it was mmm mmm good! This was my dad's first time at an event like this, and it was fun to see him thoroughly enjoying himself! 

MONDAY

I purchased a new couch! My adored red love seat is no longer my own - I have generously given it to my Dad for use in the basement family room. Although I am sad to see my beloved red love seat go, I am super excited to enjoy this new couch! It's bigger and it matches the interior of my apartment! I also had my carpets steam cleaned today! You know you're old when a new piece of furniture and cleaned carpets make you happy! 

Here's to a wonderful week :o) 

Single Behavior: Anything you do that is uniquely YOU

I am blessed to have lived alone for about a year and a half now :o) During this time, I have been as SINGLE as they come. I seldom have guys over here, and when I am home - I am often alone, alone, ALONE. Don't get me wrong ... I enjoy the peace and quiet of my own home! But I am pretty sure that there are some things I do <when no one is around> that are uniquely me.

For Example I...

• Often enter my home, at the end of a long day, and strip down to my undies. I then put on my favorite pair of sweatpants and a big old t-shirt to frolic about my house in. These sweatpants are disgustingly old (from my days as a high school field hockey player) however I LOVE them and feel the most at home when I am in them.

• Lie on my red couch for HOURS some nights/days surfing the Internet (and by Internet, I mean pinterest, face book, twitter, blogger and Gmail). The TV is generally always on, but I am not listening to the episode of Real Housewives that I missed last night. I zone out and get lost in cyberspace until I look up and realize I have done NOTHING for the past four hours, and then kick myself for not getting done the laundry list of things I needed to get done.

• I will turn on my iPod nano that's docked on my iPod speakers thingy, and belt out songs that I have literally not heard since college (considering ... that was the LAST time I've probably used my nano). Some songs I will replay 5+ times, just to hear myself sing it again - because one I forgot how much I loved the song and two ... I think I sound amazing singing at the top of my lungs in my favorite sweatpants. 

• I'll go a week without cleaning a thing in my house ... and then have the entire place cleaned top to bottom within twenty minutes before my guests come over :o) 

I am sure there are a million more things that I do ... and I just do not realize that I do them. It'll be interesting to hear from a future mate what it is that I do <and never noticed> when the time comes to move in together haha. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my own space, my own place and the crazy things I am able to do behind my closed doors!

#theSW30

Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

If anyone had asked me seven years ago where I would be at this point in my life, I would have told them that I would be a general ed teacher who was happily married (to my ex) with a baby. If I was not married, I figured I would be in a long-term relationship headed for engagement. Ha! Kind of funny looking back at it now. 

But I often marvel at where I am in life NOW, because it's a testament to God's perfect will. He continually shows me that his plans are so great for my life ... greater than I could have ever imagined, and that is powerful. 

I am currently in my fourth year of teaching special education for the top county in my state. This week I finish my FIRST graduate school course, the first achievement of my three year journey towards earning my master's degree. Heck! I am working towards my MASTER'S DEGREE! That truthfully is one dream I never had for myself. I just never thought about it growing up. 

I am blessed to be living on my own for my second year! I am able to pay my bills (rent, electricity, cell phone, cable) AND put groceries in the refrigerator. I am able to put gas in my car and pay my two hefty undergraduate loans each month. But I live on my own! In a brand new apartment with brand new hardwood floors and appliances. That is another dream that I never had for myself. I just NEVER imagined it. God had a plan - and he aligned all necessary things for this opportunity to occur.

I am working two part time jobs for extra cash - to you know, life the extraordinary single life haha. It's a heavy load working three jobs, however I am BLESSED beyond measure to have been given these opportunities. I tutor a young man with autism, and I am fortunate to make under the table cash from seeing him for a n hour once a week. I am a blessing to his family - as they continue to marvel at the progress he is making in school academically :o) I am also a blessing to their nanny - as I am able to provide her with resources to help her young son who is just starting kindergarten. After failed tutoring opportunities, where I was underpaid or overworked ... this is a blessing that I never dreamt of! And it came RIGHT ON TIME as another tutoring gig ended unexpectedly -- and I worried about where my extra cash would come from to help make ends meet. God is Good! 

Then I also recently started working with a second young man with autism, providing social skills therapy for three hours a week. This job opportunity came out of NOWHERE! It came at the same time that I decided that I could no longer work 3 hours on the weekend because it was taking a toll on me emotionally -and- because I needed time to commit to graduate school work. GOD IS GOOD! I never imagined this opportunity or what doors it would open. And let me tell you ... I have a funny feeling that more doors may open as a result of this opportunity - and I am SO excited to see where God is taking me next on this avenue. 

I talk to myself all the time - haha I do when I am driving - in amazement about where I am now! My plans for my life have NOTHING on the plans that God has for me, and has shown me little by little. 

Now, please do not think for one minute that I have the perfect life. I struggle daily. I struggle with loving myself for who I am. I struggle with insecurities. I struggle with sadness and worry. I struggle with letting go and letting God take control over my life ... because let's be real, I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL. I want to know EXACTLY what's going to happen next in my life, and I want to know EXACTLY where I will be two weeks from now. 

But I think that's the beauty of this journey ... and of seeing how God works. He knows control is by ultimate shortcoming. Yet he continues to move in my life and get the last grin saying, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)

So looking back ... I am so THANKFUL that I worship a God who has a plan that's greater for me than I could have ever imagined. He has led me to new heights in life that I would have never imagined. And it gives me hope and promise <when I am not stressing out over why MY plans are not working> that this is just the beginning! He is just beginning to reveal his perfect plans for my life ... so I need to sit back and stay tuned because in ten more years ... I will be at a point in life that I never would've foresaw where I am sitting now. And that's kind of exciting don't you think? 

theSW30