my weekend in pictures.

I got into grad school and start classes this August! 

One of my best friends from college is <ENGAGED>!

So I hiked down to Baltimore this weekend for her engagement party! 

We had so much fun at the party with friends, food, drinks, laughs and good music. 

I always enjoy seeing my best friend Kitty
(who also happens to be the sister of the bride to be AND the maid of honor! )

Alison [bride to be in the green dress] and her bridesmaids

silly pictures with the bridesmaids and the mother of the bride/groom

I always enjoy spending time with Leishy 

(one of my roommates from college)

My weekend was blessed. I hope yours was too! 

[frustrated.com]

I have been single for ... well ... maybe four years. During this time, I have struggled to get over the break-up with my first love. I have created profiles on dating websites, only to go to dinner and be uninterested in the men I said "yes" to. I have drunkenly made out with several guys on the dance floor in the bars my girlfriends and I have gone to. I have even explored the possibility of making guy *friends* more than just friends, only to realize I am not attracted to them OR that their lives are not going in the direction that mine is.

The first two years was really difficult. I was depressed and cried a lot. I ripped the band-aid off of my bleeding heart many times, only to re-injure that vital organ and place the band-aid right back on it. I lived in a fantasy world and had unrealistic dreams about where I would be by this point in my life ... who I would be dating or married to ... the happiness that I would feel. I look back on those first two years with a tender respect and appreciation for the struggle I went through and the wisdom it provided me with.

The past two years have been better. I have slowly but surely grown into myself. I have become content with who I am and where I am in life. I have done things I never imagined possible. I have found an inner strength within me ... a quiet confidence ... that I had forgotten about when my heart was broken into two. I have worked so hard at becoming the best teacher I can be in the workplace. I have worked so hard at being able to provide for myself, now that I am living on my own. I have worked SO HARD at being content as a single woman and finding happiness in weekends out with my girlfriends.

In fact, I AM content being single and I am happy. Yet the world seems to feel sorry for me. My coworkers and friends are ALWAYS trying to set me up with blind dates or a friend of a friend of a friend, whom may be a good match for me. They look at me with such pity when they find out I have no weekend plans or that I have not dated a guy since this time last year. They feel such concern for me when they realize I have not been with a guy in months if not years. They become an iron vault when I ask them how their relationships are going and say "Oh! It's fine." It's as though they feel that I cannot handle hearing about their love lives, because I currently do not have one of my own.

Recently, a couple of my girlfriends have gotten engaged. I am beyond excited for them and their fiances! But old coworkers and friends have started asking, "Christina, when are you getting engaged? You're next..." They dig for information about the men I <am NOT> dating and then for information about WHY <I am NOT> dating. They look at me as though I am weird or strange, when I happily report that I am embarking on starting my journey in grad school. That I am hyper focused on getting my degree and continuing to become the best teacher I know how to be. I walk away feeling like I am weird - and then I wonder, why am I single? Why haven't I found someone to settle down with? Why don't I enjoy dating just for the sake of dating? Why am I so guarded?

I mean for starters, it is SO difficult finding men around here. I work in a school with WOMEN. There are five male teachers - if even that - and they are all married. On the weekends, I go out to bars but let's be real, that is not the most ideal place to meet someone. Lately, old flames have been reappearing into my life. I have humored the idea of hanging out with them ... but then I ask myself - WHY!? - I am not really interested in them and obviously a relationship never worked in the past.

So I am currently [frustrated.com] as I do not know what to do or where to stand on the issue of love, dating and relationships. I know I should not let other people dictate how I feel or who I am dating ... but I am suddenly wondering myself ... how do I feel? And why am I not dating?

Six Months until a Quarter Life Crisis

I just realized - as I was looking at the previous title of my blog <one year to a quarter life crisis> - that my half birthday was yesterday. Six months from today, I will be celebrating my 25th birthday! Therefore, I felt it was appropriate and necessary to change the title of my blog.

Age twenty-four has been a crazy ride so far! I have had some great months living on my own and some rough months with friendships and challenges on the job. Regardless, I have grown so much as a person and I have enjoyed a lot of unique experiences with friends and family. I look forward to the next couple of months as a 24-year-old :o) I cannot wait to see what else God has in store for me!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

A.D.D.

So I think I have developing ADD, as in attention deficit disorder. It obviously has developed over the years due to my obsession with electronics (i.e. my iPhone and my macbook AND the constant need to check both for messages from social networks.) I am NOT the poster child for this impairment, however I DO have difficulty nowadays with: (1) staying on task (2) misplacing things needed for tasks and (3) becoming distracted by extraneous stimuli. With all of this being said, let me introduce you to my brain and the thoughts that are running rampant through it.

Thought One: Pancake Tuesday.

Pancake Tuesday is this week! How is it possible that I need to know by Wednesday what I am giving up for lent? More importantly, what AM I giving up for lent? So I have been contemplating this little gem for a few days now and have come up with the following:

 <although I know it's probably a better idea to just choose one and stick with it>

1. Refrain from posting facebook statuses or twitters statuses until Easter.
2. Try to go to Church weekly. Or spend some time meditating on the word until Easter.
3. Exercise daily for at least thirty minutes until Easter.
4. Give up chocolate, sweets, alcohol until Easter.

I have NO CLUE which one of these will prevail, but I am going to try to do at least one of them until Easter. In the mean time, I WILL indulge in pancakes, bacon and all things breakfasty and fatty tonight. And that is ONLY because my family is celebrating Pancake Tuesday tonight instead of on ... well ... Tuesday.

Thought Two: Valentine's Day

I am single. I have been single since my senior year of college, when I had my heart viciously broken by my ex. I have not celebrated Valentine's day since 2007 (outside of classroom parties with my students). It has been SIX years since I have had a Valentine or someone do something nice for me on this day. Am I bitter? Used to be ...but I am not anymore.

However, I would be lying if I said that I didn't think Valentine's Day was overrated AND that I kind of sort of wish that someone WOULD do something nice for me (like send flowers to my job or give me a heartfelt card). Really, I would like heartfelt cards from girlfriends or students or someone who thinks lovely thoughts about me and would like for me to feel loved. I doubt I will receive any of the above this year though ... so I will make the promise to send heartfelt cards to my loved ones.

Not because I want anything in return, but because I think it's important to tell the people that you love - that you care. Some would argue that you should do this every day of the year - not just on Valentine's Day - and I would agree. But I think it's fun being sentimental and sending little thoughtful gems in the mail or leaving them on people's doorsteps. So I will be Cupid on Thursday and spread some love in the air. I will also celebrate with one of my dearest friends, Annie. We plan to do a girls night in and do whatever it is that single girls want to do on a day like V-day.

Thought Three: Half Birthdays

So I just realized, I am six days away from my half birthday! Or six days away from "six months to a quarter life crisis" :o) It may be time to update the title of my blog sometime soon to reflect such time lines. Haha! In all seriousness, I am beyond excited for my twenty-fifth birthday! I am ready to enter the next age bracket in life. And by age bracket, I am referring to those surveys when they ask if you're in the 19-24 or 25-30 age range. I am welcoming this new range with open arms! Maybe then I'll actually remember how old I am when people ask. Nowadays, I accidentally say I am 23 sometimes, because let's be real - there is nothing really special about 23 or 24. In all honesty, there is probably nothing really special about 25 either. However, I am excited for my next birthday and the new experiences (good and bad) that it will bring.

Last Thought of the Morning:

Is it just me, or does it seem like February is going by really fast? It seems like just yesterday was the first of the month, and now we are already entering the third week of the month. I am hopeful that this will be a fun week! Beyonce tickets go on sale tomorrow, and I'd really like to purchase one so that I may be in attendance at her concert in July. Registration for the Baltimore Color Run also opens this week, and I intend to register for the race! The run will occur in May but I hear that the registration fills up quickly, so it's best to register sooner than later. I have been diligent about exercising more lately - not for the color run - but because I am participating in a jungle cup run next month. I hear it's like a smaller version of the tough mudder. I am excited for this opportunity, but also scared crazy because I am out of shape and have no upper body strength. So the past week, I have been lifting weights and running every other day so I can build up my strength and endurance.

Okay so back to my original statement ... I think I have ADD. My thoughts are ridiculous and hectic and frenzied on a daily basis. So perhaps, the BEST thing to give up for Lent would be social networking ... so that perhaps I have no need to be on my phone or computer ... which are OBVIOUSLY the reason why my brain does not function the way it did when I was sixteen.

Happy Sunday Everyone! What crazy thoughts are running rampant through your heads?

A Difference ...

“People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”~Beth Clark

Busy as a Bee

My goodness I have been busy as a bee lately! Last week was a crazy one as I had to work one full day. Monday and Tuesday were no school days in our county and we had a delayed opening on Thursday and a early dismissal on Friday.

The snow came down in buckets on Friday. It was pretty at first and then it was just plain annoying. I forgot how difficult snow can make travel. A coworker and I nestled at Bonefish grill for good eats and lots of drinks. It was a fun gathering ... until we realized we were sitting next to parents who had students at our school. AWKWARD moment right then and there haha. Needless to say, we quickly asked for our check and then tip-toed away.

On Saturday, I hosted a jewelry party and it was great fun! Several of my coworkers, friends and family came over food food, wine and Silpada jewelry. I ended up earning a whopping $360 dollars in free necklaces, bracelets and rings! THANKS LADIES for coming out and making purchases. The company was fantastic and the atmosphere was lively and warm. I would have to say that this gathering was MUCH BETTER than my housewarming party in August. I may make it an annual tradition to host a jewelry party with friends - old and new - in January.

My best friend from college came down for the party and ended up spending the night. I took her out to Union Jacks with one of my best friends from high school. We had the BEST time! Union Jacks has a $1 power hour from 10pm to 11pm, so we were able to each buy five drinks for five bucks! I do not think a night out can get any cheaper than that. It was SO good to see Michael, and I was glad that he was able to meet one of my dearest college pals.

Sunday I lounged around with one of my best friends from high school and a coworker at home. The girls came over and we sat for hours chit-chatting about random, girly things. 

Monday began with yet ANOTHER two hour delay and my student intern beginning his full-time teaching semester. I worked out HARD in my tabata exercise class and interviewed for GRAD SCHOOL! The interviewer said I did a nice job and that my principal gave me a glowing recommendation. I will hear back from the college by the end of February with their decision. I am hopeful that I will hear a yes - but I am also super nervous. What am I going to do if I do not get in? 

Today I went out to dinner with yet another dear friend from high school to celebrate her birthday. It was a great evening. Erica is such a lovely person and has such a sweet spirit. I am so grateful for her wisdom, kind heart and sense of humor. 

Tomorrow is supposed to snow AGAIN! I am hoping for a two hour delay at the very least. We also have a staff breakfast - yum yum - and I am looking forward to this upcoming weekend. Among my plans are: happy hour, dinner date, traveling to Frederick for a girls night out, and super bowl Sunday :o) 

Hope you all have fun plans for the weekend as well! 

Friday Letters

Dear Mother Nature,
Thank you for the snow! Your one inch dusting on Thursday gave us a two hour delay. It is so GREAT getting an extra hour or two of sleep. Today's one inch dusting gave us teachers an early dismissal. How nice is it to begin your weekend three hours early? THANK YOU! But you can stop with the icy cold winds and snow now ... I am tired of seeing salt on my car and all of my favorite shoes.

Dear Teach Week,
You rocked! I worked a total of one full day this week. We had no school on Monday, a professional day on Tuesday, a full day Wednesday, a delayed opening Thursday and an early dismissal Friday. Let's have this happen every week, okay?

Dear Tierney,
Thank you for the $50 gift card to Bonefish Grill. The early dismissal and an extended FREE happy hour absolutely made my afternoon. The bang bang tacos were to die for and my Beringer White Zinfandel was tasty. I paid maybe $10 in tip for our bill. I wish happy hours were like this ALL the time!

Dear Caitlin,
Keep your chin up. I admire you for moving down here to MD from PA ... when you knew no one or nothing about our little state. I promise everything will work out with your housing situation and teaching position for next year. Please remember to take things one day at a time. I know you're not religious, however one of my favorite scriptures is Matt 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Have faith! 

Dear Graduate School,

I am SO excited that you approved my application! And I am so eager to interview for the program on Wednesday. I pray that this is the direction I am supposed to be headed in ... and that if it is God's will, all will work out. AAAAHH! I will *be* in grad school in the fall! So excited about this ... yet so nervous. What am I getting myself into? 

So grateful for a good week with friends and family. I am feeling truly blessed and I am reveling in the moment :) Have a great weekend everyone! Xo