A letter to the 20 year old me ...

A little while back, I challenged myself to writing blog posts to thirty questions. I started successfully, answering a question a day until November rolled along. I then decided that I wanted to dedicate my blog posts to giving thanks for thirty days. Guess which one I have been more successful with?

Any who, as I engaged in my daily ritual of reading the posts of bloggers I follow, I came across this post by Amanda at Pretty Little Endeavors. I absolutely loved the post and thought, "Oh! This was one of the questions on the 30 Questions Challenge!" My next thought was then, "Gosh! If I could write a letter to my 16 year old self ... what would I write?"

The truth is, I can't even begin to remember what I was like at age 16. I know I was either a sophomore or a junior in high school. I know I had just received my first car and my driver's license. I remember having a "boyfriend" and my first kiss. Otherwise - my thoughts go blank about what I was dealing with emotionally during that time of my life. So then I thought about who I was at 17. I was a senior in high school. Perhaps worried about getting into college and whether or not I'd be able to maintain my friendships with people I held so dear.

At age 18, I was a freshman in college. I was so unsure of myself. So shy and a wreck when my parents left my belongings and I at TU for my first semester. I remember getting my nose pierced [against my parent's wishes] and beginning to date SM. I recall telling myself - I would only date him for a couple of months then I'd continue to be single. However, I fell in love. I remember thinking that he would be my forever after, the love of my life. The man I was supposed to marry.

My 19th year of life is a blur. I can remember bits and pieces. I remember becoming a tour guide at TU. Going to a diversity retreat, where I met people from various backgrounds and walks of life. I remember breaking SM's heart by saying I needed to go on a break. I remember us getting back together, only for him to cheat on me with a friend. I remember a rough, rocky road leading up to the summer, when we were back home together.

Which brings me to my 20th year of life. So I figured ... that if I was going to write a letter to the younger me, that would be the year to write a letter to. So here goes nothing.

Dear 20-year-old Christina,

This is going to be one of the hardest years of your college life. You are going to be challenged in more ways that you could ever imagine. You will grow in more ways than ever imagined.

School will come easily to you. It always has. Just remember not to procrastinate too much and to study before the big tests. You will LOVE your student teaching internships. Enjoy each moment of co-teaching with your peers, one day a week. During your senior year, co-teaching is no longer an option. It will be ALL YOU then. Your program is not called EESE because it's EASY. It will make you want to pull your hair out sometimes [and possibly jump] but stick with it. In two years, you will be in your first year of teaching. And you will be so thankful for your internship experience at TU. It has prepared you for what is to come in more ways than you could have EVER imagined.

You have many friends right now. Many of whom you think will be your bridesmaids one day. Spend less time worrying about who will be a bridesmaid in your wedding, and more time enjoying every memory made with the people you have surrounded yourself with. Enjoy the time with these girls now, for some of these girls will no longer be your friend(s) in the next five years.

Embrace all opportunities that you encounter this year, and every year after. Your leadershape experience is the beginning of a new horizon for you. You will learn A LOT about yourself. As a leader. A person. A teacher. A friend. It will open up a door for the path you want to travel down in the future. It will become an experience that changed your life forever. Do not forget the reasons why you wanted to experience this program. Why you mustered up the courage to step outside of your comfort zone. You will need to muster up this same courage again and again in the years to come.

SM is your first love. But he will not be your last. First loves seldom are. Stay strong Chrissy girl. Do not give into the darkness of your despair. You will spend many long, lonely days [and nights] alone in your dark room. You will cry more than you have ever cried. You will feel like the pain and the rain will never end. This is called heartbreak. Rest assured that you will see the sun shine again one day. You will find out who you are and what makes you you. Just give it time.

  

Some of the friends you've made this year, will be in your life longer than you expect. Some of these people will become closer to you than the people you've considered "best friends" your whole life. You will have falling outs with these friends. You will reach the crossroads, at which you think there is no way to repair the friendship. You will make selfish decisions, and hurt their feelings. But at the end of the day, cherish these new friends. They will be in your life for a good long while. They will be the ones you turn to for the highs and lows of life. They will become irreplaceable parts of your life. 

Just know that "God is working things out for you, even when you don't feel it." Have faith and be thankful. Each one of these tests presented before you this year, are for your ultimate benefit. They are preparing you for what's to come ahead. Each test is building your character, making you wiser than you ever were before. 

Just enjoy life for what it is. You will never have time like this again. Not a care in the world. Enjoy every moment that the young adult/college years have to offer. Believe me when I say, you'll never live life up like you are doing now. 

And ... please remember ... to learn a thing or two from all of these experiences. All of the heartbreaks and letdowns. You'll need to take these lessons with you. I promise they will help you in the future.

Love Always,

24-year-old Me

10 Things to be Remembered For

List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

1. My sense of humor. I am a quirky girl at times and my sense of humor is borderline immature. However if you truly know me, you know I love to laugh and joke around. I love telling funny stories about the things that happen to me on a daily basis and I love to be snarky - if the timing is appropriate. Regardless, I think some people do not realize that I have a great sense of humor - and I'd hope that they'd have an opportunity to appreciate it and remember me for it.
2. My love of education. By education - I mean my love of teaching and growing as a learner. I feel so blessed to do the job that I do - teaching students with disabilities. I have wanted to do this job for so long [since I was in elementary school] and it's such a privilege and an honor to have the opportunity to touch the lives of these children everyday. My passion for teaching - and growing as a learner - is evident in how I speak about my kids and my work ethic. This is not a job that I take lightly, and I hope children look back one day and remember their teacher - Miss H - and the love I gave them, the lessons I taught them and the impact I made on them.
3. My smile. It sounds silly - but I have been told that I have a smile that lights up the room. I'd like to think of this as being approachable and friendly - and that's something worth remembering if you ask me :)
4. My positive attitude. I am a positive person 98% of the time. Okay ... so maybe I have exaggerated the truth. I'd say I am positive 90% of the time. I have my ups and downs ... and my OFF days, but for the most part, I look at the glass have full. Life is too short to focus on all of the negatives in life, and I use this energy to attack my battles in life full force.
5. My love of family. I come from a HUGE family. My dad is one of twelve kids and my mother is one of five. My dad's family lives down south in North Carolina - so we do not get to see everyone very often. However when we do travel down there, it's literally a reunion. I am always so overjoyed to spend time with fellow H's! There is always lots of food, conversation, dancing and contests. It makes me so proud to be a member of this family and to reconnect with my cousins and aunts/uncles. My mother's family lives locally - maybe ten or fifteen minutes apart. Growing up, we all went to the same church and would attend my grandparent's house after service for a big Sunday lunch. We celebrate every holiday together - whether it be the 4th of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving or someones birthday. When I am not with the entire family on either side, I am frequently visiting my parent's house to have heart to heart conversations with my parents or to catch up with my younger sister and brother. Family is everything to me and I hope to have a big family of my own one day - and to instill these same values into my children.
6. My love of photos. Back in the day, my digital camera was ALWAYS glued to my hand. I'd develop the photos and put them in frames and/or scrapbooks. Today, my iPhone is my best friend. I LOVE the camera on the phone and that I can immediately edit photos with instagram and then upload photos to twitter, facebook and shutterfly! I may be obnoxious when it comes time to photographs - but a picture is worth a thousands words :o)
7. My love of being outdoors. I LOVE the outdoors - especially on a beautiful day. Sit me by the ocean waves on a beach or by the campfire in the forest ... and I am content. It is then that I feel complete. I love hiking and and having a picnic outdoors in the fresh air.
8. My commitment and loyalty to my friends. I am shy by nature and so it takes me a while to truly let people into my heart/life. However, once you are in - YOU'RE IN! There will be nothing that I will not do for you in the time of need. Your company and friendship will be treasured to the tenth degree. Although this is a strength, it is also a weakness. I have the HARDEST time letting people go - it hurts me to no end when relationships end (whether romantic or friend). But I'd like to think this shows how much I love others and how loyal I am to someone I consider a friend.
9. My love of Zumba [and dancing.] If I could be ANYTHING (or anyone) for a day - I'd hope to be either a Zumba dance instructor OR a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. I love to dance and shake my booty. I love being energetic and pumping to the beat. For sure - this is something that I WILL no doubt be remembered for.
10. Myself. There is no other Chriss Marie - like me - out there. I have many wonderful qualities about me, and some not so good ones. But I am who I am ... and I try to be the best me that I can be everyday. I'd like to think my friends, family, coworkers, etc love me for exactly who I am. And that's something worth remembering me for.

20 Random Things About Me

List 20 random facts about yourself.

1. I am the oldest born child in my family.
2. I enjoy reading other's blogs in my spare time.
3. I am a special education teacher.
4. I am 24 years old.
5. I am a LEO.
6. I am bored to tears right now - as Hurricane Sandy wrecks continues her wrath.
7. I have a birth mark located on one of my butt cheeks haha.
8. I LOVE taking photos. 
9. I wish I was more crafty (and had patience for it) because I'd totally scrap book. 
10. My newest passion is hiking in new locations.
11. I am a reality TV junkie. Real Housewives. Jersey Shore. Teen Mom. Are some of my fav shows.
12. My biggest fear is being alone for the rest of my life. I often feel like I will NEVER meet the one I am supposed to spend eternity with.
13. I am a bit of a control freak - I've learned this lately ... I HAVE to be in control or else I panic/stress out/spazz.
14. I LOVE chocolate ... and my love for it may be unhealthy.
15. I am a bit of a perfectionist. 
16. I love love love helping others! 
17. I am pidgeon toed .. and kind of self conscious about it. 
18. I think I have an undiagnosed speech impediment ... 
19. I stutter when I get nervous. 
20. I tend to exaggerate the truth - because I am dramatic O:)

I am so grateful that the power remains on in my building. I have been watching hurricane Sandy coverage ALL DAY and it's absolutely shocking to see the footage of what's going on up North. Maryland has been hit pretty hard - but all of my friends and family continue to be safe at this moment. I am praying for all of those who are currently without power, experiencing flooding or who have been evacuated from their homes. I also pray that this monster storm is over soon - I think the East Coast has been battered up enough.

Where Do I See Myself?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

• 5 Years: In five years, I see myself as a 8th year teacher in MCPS. By this time, I will have graduated with a master's degree in Educational Leadership. I would hope to have met the man of my dreams, and be married. We would own a house somewhere in MC, have a pup and maybe a baby on the way. I would have a clearer sense of who I am and I would be okay with it.
• 10 Years: In ten years, I would love to be a stay at home mom raising my three or four (or five) children.  For those wondering - I want a large family. I envision myself driving children to soccer practice, girl scouts and other various extracurricular activities. I would have a baby on my hip, and my hand over the stove (baking and cooking treats and meals) when the kids were at schools and/or extracurricular activities.
• 15 Years: In ten years, I see myself as a supervisor of some sort in an education system. It has been my dream - currently - to advise and/or supervise staff in the special education department. At this point, I would want to be out of the classroom and putting my master's degree to good use. I would be 39 years old by this point ... so perhaps I would be preparing for my over the hill celebrations as well haha! 

Thirty Questions Challenge

If I were to be real with myself ... it's going to take me AGES to work through this list. However, my goal will be to work on the 30 questions below whenever I have free time or need something new to blog about. 
Here is the list of the 30 Questions:   

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

If you are reading my blog, and you have a blog of your own - then I encourage you to do the same too!