10.05.2013

30 Day Blogging Challenge

At some point during the course of the last year or two, I stumbled across Mandy Hale's blog: The Single Woman. It was during a time in my life when I was REALLY struggling with the idea of being a newly single young woman. I would read Mandy's blogs daily and her words were always uplifting and encouraging. She was the Joel Osteen of single ladies. Ha! No but seriously, I then began to follow her on twitter. And this summer, I purchased her book to read at my leisure; and let me tell you, I am in love with this woman and the words of encouragement she shares through all of her writings.

So you  can only imagine my excitement as I stumbled across one of her recent facebook posts asking woman to join in on her 30 day blogging challenge :o)


The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge
1)      Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?”
2)      Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
3)      Describe a moment or a day when being single was really awesome.
4)      Your biggest fear as a single person.
5)      The biggest misconception you think people have about single life
6)      Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”
7)      Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
8)      Five things that are most important to you in a future mate
9)      Your favorite “weird/funny single behavior” – Anything you do that is uniquely YOU and that living alone allows you to do (For example, I sometimes dance around the house with my cat to Frank Sinatra)
10)   Google the meaning of your name and talk about how it fits or doesn’t fit you
11)   Your worst/funniest/most embarrassing date
12)   Your proudest accomplishment
13)   Describe how you met the last person you texted and talk about your friendship/relationship
14)   Describe the last moment you felt really, truly blissful
15)   Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?
16)   If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?
17)   What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?
18)   If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
19)   What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?
20)   Describe your most difficult breakup and what you learned from it
21)   How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network?
22)   What fictional character in a movie, tv show, or book do you identify with and why?
23)   Talk about a moment when you got annoyed with a married friend, a person in a relationship, or a person with kids (Be honest! No judgment!)
24)   If you could relive ONE day of your life, what would it be? And would you change anything?
25)   Describe a moment when you “paid it forward.” What happened and how did it feel?
26)   Name a song that makes you cry every time you hear it and why
27)   Talk about something that you really, really, really love about yourself.
28)   Describe a moment when you made a big, bold move. In any area of life: Career, Love, etc.
29)   Who is your closest or most special friend that you’ve never met and what do they mean to you? How did you cross paths? Talk about how you “met” them: Facebook, Twitter, an online support group, etc.
30)   Write a letter to your future mate saying whatever you want to say
Invite anyone who you think might be interested to participate. Post links to your blog posts in the comments below so we can all check them out! Or use the hashtag #TheSW30 on Twitter!
I am going to take the challenge and see where this journaling experience leads me. If you're single, and reading this ... and you love to write too, I encourage you to also participate!

Happy Saturday Pals!

10.02.2013

Autumn Romances

"I keep him tucked away in the far corners of my heart. He was my first love, and you never truly forget your first. I thank God everyday for making him a part of my life. But I thank God twice a day for setting me free of him."

So ... I should be finishing up my paper that is due tomorrow for grad class. However, I cannot help but let my mind drift off to thoughts about love, dating and relationships. I recently began dating this new guy - and I am pretty sure that this relationship will go nowhere. The guy seemed really into me at first - and I was into him - but after two weeks of going on dates, it seems that communication has stopped flowing and that we are even more strangers than we were in the beginning. Figures - how embarrassing. I have spent countless evenings [losing sleep] over analyzing this whole situation. And after at least a week of these sleepless nights, tear stained pillows and talking myself crazy ... I got NOTHING. 

I cannot decide if I did something wrong. I cannot decide if I am just not ready to date again. I cannot decide if I said something wrong ... or if I am too young ... or if I am not interesting enough ... or if he's just really [and never was really] that into me ... or WHAT. I've read countless blog articles and glamour magazine articles the past few evenings about "Signs he is into you" and "Signs he is just not that into you." I have watched the move He's Just Not That Into You. I have belted my heart out to countless sad songs (the same ones I used to listen to when my ex and I broke up). And I have sat for hours replaying and replaying events. Analyzing and over analyzing everything. Still ... I got NOTHING.

Want to know what's worse than all of the above? I am suddenly feeling an urge to get my palm read or to visit a psychic. I never in a million years have ever wanted to do this - but I am feeling desperate. I want to know ... I am DYING to know ... will I ever fall in love again? Will I ever find someone to settle down with? And if so [before I decide to go purchase 5,000 kittens] how long until I meet the one? 

I've come to realize several things about myself:

  • I am impatient
  • I need to be touched 
  • I need to be complimented
  • I need to be the center of attention (I hate admitting this one]
  • I need to be honest and direct
  • I like to talk ... talk about my feelings ... talk about your feelings...
  • I like to see where things are going ... and have no surprises or curve balls
  • I need to be somewhat in control
  • I am TRULY a LEO (zodiac sign)
These are all TERRIBLE characteristics ... but I've realized that about myself through dating this guy, and to some degree - maybe some of these things are nonnegotiable. 


Even more true ... I've realized that my relationship with my EX (or my first true love) has truly created some scars, wounds and insecurities deep within me. I have not really dated past a first date and I have not gone out of my way to date guys too much within the past three or four years since Sean and I split. This new dating experience - and my realization that I really liked this guy - brought up all these wounds, scars and memories that I had developed scabs over or had pushed into the dusty spots of my memory. *Falling* for someone and making myself vulnerable/putting myself out there reopened all of these feelings and fears that I have worked SO hard to suppress and forget over the last couple of years.

So the question becomes - what now? I obviously have a lot of things to work on. But also, at what point do I recognize that when I meet the perfect man - it should not have to be this much work? Or maybe, I should not have these overwhelming feelings of insecurity and fear. I am so mad at myself for letting my emotions get caught up in this new guy - for letting him in and for letting myself fall apart. But at the same time, I am also proud of myself for getting back out there and realizing both my good attributes and shortcomings. What an experience the month of September gave me :o) What a life lesson! 

So as I ponder all of these thoughts - and tell myself repeatedly: "This new guy will not call me again. This relationship IS over. Move on ..." I also take a moment to recall my first love. Our *anniversary* was October 7th ... and what a chapter of my life that boy was. I miss his friendship dearly ... but I send love and light to him halfway across the world ... I truly hope he is doing well :o) He will be forever tucked away in the corners of my heart ... for it was with him that I first learned what it felt like to be in love and when I learned what it feels like to have your heart completely and utterly broken. I am so glad he was my first - but I am so glad that I am free of him [and that I am slowly but surely getting back out there and trying to meet new people]. 

Maybe one day I will find my true love ... Maybe one day I will learn to let go of these fears.

Music is My Anti Drug

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

- AVICII

9.29.2013

Fall Bucket List

  • drink a pumpkin spice latter
  • snuggle by a fire
  • tailgate at one football game
  • oogle a guy in a peacoat
  • go apple picking
  • go pumpkin picking 
  • dress in layers and leggings
  • kiss in the rain
  • have a scary movie date
  • crunch leaves
  • watch hocus pocus
  • visit a street fair 
  • bake pumpkin bread
  • sip apple cider
  • wear dark nail polish
  • splash in puddles
  • enjoy homemade pie
  • carve a pumpkin
  • wear uggs
  • devour some halloween oreos
  • break out some blankets
  • inhale the fall crisp air
  • take a foggy AM walk
  • stay warm in a cozy cardigan
  • watch ABCs halloween marathon
  • get spooked at a haunted house
  • make a yummy crockpot stew
  • jump into a pile of leaves
  • read by a fire
  • toss back a pumpkin ale
  • go on a hayride
  • make some chili
  • breathe in the scent of firewood
  • go to a halloween party
  • shop for new fall clothes 

Weekend in Pictures








Just a few snapshots from this past weekend! 

Looking forward to the start of October and all of the fun memories to be made :o) 

9.15.2013

Letting Go

If there is one thing that I have learned about myself, it is that I have a difficult time letting people into my life AND I have a difficult time letting them go. I wish I could pinpoint exactly why I have this issue. I'd like to believe it stems from my experiences with broken trust and bruised feelings at an early age. Or maybe it is a result of my desire to have everyone like me and to have no conflict with others.

The past year or two, I have found myself at crossroads in life where I have had to reconsider whether or not I wanted to continue my friendships with some people I once held near and dear. More than once, the conclusion I have come to has been that it is time to distance myself from said people. Well it's become increasingly apparent the last week or so that it's time to let go of someone I once considered one of my dearest friends.

I've been struggling the past couple of days mainly because this person said some things that I feel has brought our relationship to an end. She acted up and forced me to take a stand. She avoided me when I was trying to reconcile and rectify our differences. I was hoping that we could settle our miscommunication, however after my many attempts to reach out and do exactly this ... she has failed to respond to or acknowledge my invitations to talk. Although I know this break in the friendship was a long time coming, it bothers me that I did not get the closure I had hoped for. 

While scrolling through my twitter timeline this afternoon, I stumbled across a tweet from none other than Mandy Hale (the single woman). She had linked to her tweet an blog entry written earlier in the summer, but that is entirely relevant to the situation I am going through right now: 
HOW do you let go and move on from ANYTHING in your life that no longer fits, no longer works, no longer brings you joy but pain, no longer brings you sunshine but rain? 
You take a deep breath, you say the words that you never imagined yourself saying, and you walk away. Battle-scarred and scared and unsure about the future as you may be, when you KNOW in your heart that this is not the person, not the job, not the opportunity that God and the universe intended for you, there is no other option but to walk away. To let go and move on. You cannot allow yourself to settle for anything that you know is wrong for you. Leaving the comfortable shell of a secure situation, no matter WHAT it may be, is one of the scariest things a person can do; but think about it…what would happen to the butterfly if she refused to exit her cocoon? She would never grow, never change, never acquire her wings.  
Letting go is not for the faint of heart. It’s the hardest thing most of us will ever have to learn how to do…but still, we must do it. Loving oneself demands nothing less. 
Sometimes in life we have to create our own closure. Sometimes we have to decide when enough is enough and walk away. I urge you to find a way to peacefully close the door on the past so you can walk away with your head held high and with no regrets. Because at the end of the day, sometimes it takes opening a door to get to a new place… 
…and sometimes it takes closing one.
I pray that God will help me let go and find the strength to release the wrong relationships so that I have room in my life for the people who understand my destiny and can call forth my seeds of greatness. 

Here's to a new season of life and creating my own closure. It's time to let go. 

9.02.2013

Labor Day Weekend

I had a wonderful Labor Day Weekend with my family. We decided to change things up a little bit and celebrate the holiday down by the water, versus a barbecue at some one's home. Family members packed sandwiches, tuna buns, cookies, brownies and chips to munch on all day long. Another gentleman who joined our festivities, grilled burgers, hot dogs, chicken wings and pork chops! We had soda and water galore, sipped on beer in red solo cups and played games such as soccer, volleyball and brain quest. The weather was absolutely gorgeous - blue skies and a nice breeze off the water. Some of the little ones went swimming in the ocean, while others of us stayed on the sand and soaked up some rays. It was such a fun way to celebrate Labor Day and to spend quality time with family. I hope this becomes a NEW family tradition - it's one I wouldn't want to miss :o)