She Will Be Loved ...

"It's not always rainbows and butterfliesIt's compromise that moves us along, yeahMy heart is full and my door's always openYou can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everydayOut on your corner in the pouring rainLook for the girl with the broken smileAsk her if she wants to stay awhileAnd she will be loved..."

I had the pleasure of seeing Owl City, Neon Trees AND <most importantly> Maroon 5 in concert last night! The show was fantastic and I love Adam Levine even more than before! He is an incredible artist and I think of him as a *cool* guy after watching him on The Voice every week!

The best part of my evening was spending time with my best friend Kat! I am so grateful for her friendship and all of the memories we have made together over the past five years! There surely is NEVER a dull moment between us - and last night was yet another example of that :o)

I am looking forward to the new memories, adventures and life lessons that the month of April has to bring. Bring It On New Season!!

A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime

Have you ever heard the expression, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?"

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.  Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled;  their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);  and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Over the years I have received countless chain emails with this topic in the subject line. I have read these emails time and time again; and I have reflected on each person that was presently in my life. However, the past week or two has opened my eyes and given new meaning to the terms "reason," "season," and "lifetime." 

My circle of friends has changed over the past two or three years. There have been individuals with whom I thought I would grow old, yet life had different plans and we now no longer speak. Individuals with whom I couldn't imagine my wedding party without, and now I couldn't imagine my wedding party with them. Individuals with whom I once new EVERY detail about their life and could talk and laugh with for hours on end, and now I have no clue what they are up to other than a facebook status here or there. Or who I go out to catch up with, and it seems like the LONGEST hour of my life because we have not a thing to really talk about. 

I think the most enlightening experiences have been relationships with coworkers. For the second time in three years, I have befriended coworkers and become too close too quickly. And for the second time in three years, I feel as though I have been kicked to the curb. The friendships fell apart for one reason or another, sides needed to be taken, and I fell on the wrong side of the tracks. This recent experience, has opened my eyes to the fact that I mistakenly place individuals into the lifetime category, when these people entered my life for a reason or a season. 

A new season (such as the start of a new month) provides a chance to start again and to try something new. I am beyond grateful for the people who are in my life and for the ones God has taken down a different path. Each and every person has taught me a lesson and has forever changed who I am for the better. 

As Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." And that is a lesson of a lifetime. 

Update: 

I just read this post by Mandy Hale of thesinglewoman.net :o) In many ways, these are the words I wanted to say but could not find. Please read if you need inspiration and encouragement about the importance of setting boundaries! 

Spring Break!

My Spring Break was blessed! I had originally planned to run a 5K, to tour Washington, D.C. with my grandfather for his 78th birthday AND to head to the beach for a long weekend. Just as life would have it, my spring break did not go exactly according to plan.

It started according to plan! I ran an obstacle 5K and had the BEST time! I conquered many of my fears (such as climbing a five foot wall, jumping to a rope and inching down to the ground). Then I had a GREAT time taking a limo ride to D.C. with my fifteen family members and most importantly - my grandfather - who was taken by surprise with this little birthday excursion. We explored the monuments in D.C. and dined at Ben's Chili Bowl. My grandfather even had the opportunity to meet the owner, Mrs. Virginia.

To my disappointment, I became extremely ill with the stomach flu that evening (Saturday evening to be exact) and I was on my death bed until about Wednesday. I am talking everything that could happen with a stomach flu, HAPPENED <and in full force for 48 hours>. As a result, I had to cancel my beach trip because there was NO WAY my body or health was ready for the trip we had had in mind. It honestly took until Friday for me to regain my energy, strength and some sort of appetite.

But in hindsight, that was a blessing within itself. I work, work, work and go, go, go ALL the time. Getting sick forced me to really rest for once in my life. I caught up on copious amounts of sleep [and television shows haha!]. For once in my life, I also had no plans. It was strange at first having nothing scheduled to do ... but I quickly grew to appreciate the simpleness of waking up and just relaxing for the day. It was wonderful.

This past weekend was wonderful too! Friday I finally had something planned, and it was in fact dinner with my aunt, cousin, mother and sister. We dined at TGIF Fridays and had a lovely time. We then attended a Good Friday Service at a church my sister recently joined. Let me tell you, that was by far the highlight of my week. Service was phenomenal and it felt so good to hear the word of God. I enjoyed the sermon(s), the music, spending time with family AND the opportunity to finally go out and do something.

On Saturday, I invited my sister to go hiking with one of my girlfriends and I. We had the BEST time at Great Falls National Park in VA. The weather was absolutely gorgeous and the views were incredible. We hiked roughly 3 or 4 miles and climbed the rocks - it was so much fun [and such a great workout!] Later that evening, I saw Tyler Perry's Temptation in theaters with my sister. The movie was powerful and jaw dropping! And then Michelle and I joined some of her friends for dinner and drinks at Gordon Biersh. The conversation was excellent, the sangria tastey and the food delicious! It felt great to connect with new ladies <brown ladies> and to do something different for a change.

Easter Sunday was great with the family. However the highlight of my evening was watching television with my mother. Silly I know - but I truly value time spent with her <especially since I no longer live at home>. There is a day and a half left of spring break and I am not exactly sure how I will plan on spending it - but what I do know is that this break was exactly what I needed and more than what I could've ever hoped for.

Perspective

I have spent the last hour or so browsing through all of the blog entries I have ever posted on this site. It is one of the most surreal and almost too real weekend reading experiences. Each entry has taken me down memory lane, through times that were uplifting and encouraging, and through moments that were frustrating and almost defeating. Some entries were poorly written. Many others made me realize how silly some of my problems seem now, when I look back on them. Other entries made me reflect on the value of having individuals in your life who will be honest and forthright with you.

I decided not to go out this evening, but to remain indoors and spend some quality time with myself relaxing, watching movies and *catching up* on school work. I have managed to do none of the previously listed "to-dos". I have spent a considerable amount of time in reflection, prayer and meditation about current happenings in both my professional and personal lives. I recognize that yet another season of change is standing on my doorstep, and I feel that I am ready right now to welcome this stranger in with welcome arms. The reality of my present day experiences are enough to convince me that it is time for a change, in how I am living my life and handling situations that are presented to me. I am ready to take a step in a new direction as the month of March marches on towards April.

In October, a dear friend of mine stated: 

"I get it everything around you is changing and you're having trouble making sense of everything. But at the end of the day you need to wake up and say, "I like Christina Harris" and acknowledge that you're happy with where you are and what you're doing in life. Because once you get to a certain age people are going to come and go. And that's okay. All of them serve a purpose in your life. What matters is that you're trying to make yourself a better person and you're doing what you enjoy. Everything else is just stuff. I just learned a very valuable lesson about saying, "No." And it has been liberating. Sometimes we have to go through things that suck or times where we don't feel ourselves in order to learn something. Isn't that what it's all about? Learning something new."    

Her words hold so much truth and wisdom. As I reflect on the current circumstances in my life, I recognize that I am at a place where people are coming and going. My relationships with friends have both evolved and faded. Individuals that I thought I would be friends with forever are no longer in my life. I have lost touch with them and have no clue as to where life has taken them. Other relationships continue to grow stronger, and I have learned to value these friendships way more than I may have in the past. 

In all areas of my life, I am learning the importance of saying NO when I am uncomfortable with something or when I do not agree. I have made some enemies when I have stood up for what I believe in, and although unfortunate, I am trying to embrace the quiet peace that comes with staying true to you and your morals.

There have been one too many days this past year already, that I have not felt like myself. Where I have been stretched and pulled and forced to learn something new. It is a frustrating and scary process, however I have yet to look back on one of these experiences and be unable to reflect on the positive changes and the wisdom the stretch gave me.

Moving forward into the last couple of weeks of March, I want to focus on these affirmations:

1. Only engage in relationships that make you feel uplifted.  Let go of the people who pull you down.
2. Make better use of your time.  Minimize your obligations to the most important tasks and get rid of all time-wasters.
3. Train your mind to think positively and look for the good in yourself and in the world.  Purge your mind of toxic thoughts and stop being self-destructive.
4. Try to improve your better habits and minimize your poor habits.  You will feel better about the person you are.
5. Be courageous!  Don't be afraid to walk against the crowd if your values don't align.  Live what you think is good!
6. Be real.  Live a noble life because that is who you are. Do away with facades and obsessions with reputation.  Live with dignity. 

Most importantly, here are some quotes that will help keep day to day trials and accomplishments in perspective:

“If you’re dealt a setback today, I ask you to treat it as an opportunity to get curious and learn about the experience. You won’t always know exactly where the chapter will head, but you’ll know that you’re moving forward with lessons learned, wisdom gained, and experiences to share.”―Antonio Neves

“The path you are traveling may be the more challenging one but don’t lose faith, don’t listen to the doubters, don’t let setbacks keep you down and most of all, don’t give up.” ―Chris Assaad

"God has a divine plan for your life. Like Peter, however, Jesus needs you to step out of the boat so that you may progress toward your greater purpose. The boat symbolizes your comfort zone. It is the place you return to when it appears God isn’t doing things when and how you planned. Resist the urge to be stuck. Get out of the boat!" - T.D. Jakes

The Things I Did in College

Sat on pool tables in the middle of a bar like a boss.

Walked uptown to the college bars during major snow events.

Supported friends in the Polar Bear Plunge <in the snow>

played in over 38 inches of snow during snowmaggedeon 2K10.

dressed up like a po-po for Halloween.

participated in Olympic events like wine racing.

participated in Olympic events like getting your brand new shoes stolen right off your feet [after wine racing] and trying to figure out the thief in the middle of your stupor. 

pretended I was a walrus. 

several times.

tried out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders ... er wait ... that was my Halloween getup.

pretended I was a valley girl for Halloween.

pierced my nose.

slept anywhere.

backed it up on any dance floor ... whether glass was there or not. 

sat in trashcans because I could.

took shots of things I had NO BUSINESS taking shots of.

pretended I was a viking ... on several occasions.

Oh how I miss college ... those were the BEST four years of my life! 

Snow Day

There is something so peaceful and sobering about being able to enjoy a snow day in the comfort of my own home. To be able to sleep in until noon and then move about my little apartment on my own schedule. To not have to worry about anyone else or be considerate of anyone else. To cook sausage and waffles for breakfast, and to leave my dirty dishes sitting in the sink. To waste away an hour stalking people on face book with the television playing in the background. To walk around in my PJ's that are still turned inside out, in hopes of school being cancelled (it worked).

I have been struggling lately with the reality that I live a different life than many of my friends. I do not have the luxury to go purchase a new coach purse whenever I feel like it or to buy a new pair of shoes. I cannot afford to eat dinner out at fancy places three times a week with girlfriends, and then purchase fancy, expensive drinks afterwards. I cannot attend every single social event or go on a shopping spree every single weekend. At one point I could ... but that was another lifetime, when I lived at home with my parents and had no financial responsibilities.

This new realization that I have to choose ONE event per week to participate in and I have to continuously say NO to friends about going here or there has been upsetting to me. But today, even if only for a couple of hours, I have a sudden peace about this new reality. How blessed am I to have this humble little abode to wake up in and share with no one but myself. The peace and solitude I find here is unparalleled. It is a blessing that not many people can say they have to enjoy these days - when the economy is so weak and financial difficulties are plentiful.

So as I watch white fluffy snowflakes tumble from the clouds down to the ground, I am going to relax in my little home and enjoy what it is that God has blessed me with. He is good to me and I am grateful for doors he has opened and the opportunities he has presented me with. Happy Wednesday everyone.