Our Thoughts

Whatever we fix our minds on grows, which is why it’s so important to monitor our thoughts.

Year Thirty-One

New beginnings that I hope manifest in 2020:

Pay off credit card 
Build my savings
Travel to Ecuador
Meet My Future Husband

The Call

Following the call of God on our lives—whatever it might be—requires exercising our faith, and faith requires moving forward into the unknown. It guarantees running into the unexpected. The unpredictable. The outrageous. But it brings the miraculous

Seasons of Solitude

Sometimes you have to experience seasons of solitude to realize that you don’t need anyone else to validate, approve of, or complete you. YOU are all the validation & approval & completeness you will ever need

Prayer

Father, forgive me for any time I thought I could do life alone. It's clear You want me in a community of believers. Please send people into my life who I can cry and praise and pray with. Open my eyes to see them. Help me to be that person for someone else today, too. In Jesus' name, amen. 

God creates a new beginnings out of dust & broken things

In October 2017, I found myself at a crossroads. I was in a long term relationship that didn’t seem to be headed towards any type of real commitment. I wanted to officially move-in and my ex wanted to officially become a bachelor. Left with no choice, I begrudgingly walked in a new direction.

I knew in my heart that I wanted to buy a place; however I literally had NO CLUE what buying a home entailed. The months that followed will forever be a testament of how God creates a new beginnings out of dust & broken things.

I started looking at homes in the Columbia area. I went with the first realtor/mortgage loan officer I found and these ladies encouraged me to go BIG or go home. They kept encouraging me to buy any townhome. Even if I could not afford it now, they reassured me that I would be able to one day. It sounded great - forward thinking. Yet it at the same time, it felt like the wrong advice ... like a financial mistake.

By December, my cousin DeDee was working as my loan officer and she asked me to consider a realtor, Mary, that she often did business with. With DeDee's gentle encouragement, I "interviewed" Mary and immediately was drawn to her personality, infectious laugh and heart for God. Man was I in good hands - two fearless believers who had my best interest in mind! They wanted to both educate and empower me as I walked through this process. I am forever grateful for their kindness, expertise and encouragement during this season.

By the end of January 2018, I just knew I had found THE PLACE! A condo tucked in Columbia, it was renovated and beautiful. That is until inspection revealed that there had been a fire in the place AND the electrical wires were a time-ticking, fire hazard combo of aluminum and copper wiring. Devastated, I walked away from the property. I mean, I had JUST watched the episode of This is Us when the house burned down due to an electrical fire. I didn’t want an ending like that.

All along friends and family kept suggesting that I look at homes in Germantown (my hometown). I was adamant that I would NEVER move back to Germantown, but God has a sense of humor.

Mid-February I checked out a property in Germantown near Gunner’s Lake. You could literally see the lake from the master bedroom. It was perfect and meant to be mine. I even crafted a heartfelt letter about the memories I had growing up at this lake; but it was not enough. Two offers on the table, the owners went with the cash. I was devastated again.

About two weeks later, I stumbled across a listing for a property a few blocks from the condo on the water. I HATED the unit pictured. I had given up on finding a place and was not interested in having my heart crushed again. But with the gentle coaxing of my parents, I checked out the unit and made an offer on a Friday. By Saturday evening, my offer had been accepted over the others that had also poured in!

I’ll never forget Mary’s words when she called... “Christina! It’s your realtor, Mary. Are you sitting down? I have some news for you...” My tears and excitement about being a homeowner, were quickly met with panic... what if this place didn’t pass the inspection. I had been in this place before. Offer accepted only to find out the place was ridden with issues.

Exactly a month later on March 26th, 2018... I settled on my first home. A beautiful condo, less than a mile away from the lake I loved. Less than 10 minutes from my childhood home. A place nestled in the town I grew up in... the very place I called home.

It’s been one year in this beautiful place & my heart has been so full. Every day I praise God for putting a comma where I put a question mark. His plans truly were greater than my own. Only now do I understand the closed doors - the ending of a relationship. Moving back to my home city. Offers and home inspections that failed. Those broken and dusty places created a blank canvas on which God had the space to paint a masterpiece.

This testimony has been on my heart for some time. I share in hopes that maybe I touch the heart of someone who is reading this. Someone who is dealing with despair or broken things or dust. Keep the faith - God is not finished with you or your situation yet. His plans for you are GOOD. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. But we must always remember, he will do these things on his time ... not our own.

To the friends, family and guideposts (DeDee and Mary) who have supported me, encouraged me and cried/celebrated with me along this journey... I thank you! I love you! I am grateful for you! I cannot wait to see what blessings are in store this upcoming year! 🥳❤️

And to show you that God has a sense of humor, this summer I walked by the "condo on the water" daily with Tucker. Guess what!? When the trees are in full bloom, you cannot see ANY of the water. Imagine that.

Diamonds

“Diamonds will be made but it’s going to take some pressure and perseverance to shine in the way we want.”

I think that about sums up 2018. 

I started the year in a dark place. Broken-hearted after loosing a relationship that had been my world. Devastated after not one but TWO offers on houses that fell through. Frustrated with my body ... it’s size and its strength. 

But somewhere along the way ... during the course of this year, I bought a house. A perfect little home, in the most perfect location, near my family.

I pushed myself to run not one half marathon, but TWO! I conquered every damn mile. I also ran and conquered two 10- milers, a 15K, a 10K, a 5- miler and numerous 5Ks.

I lost over 10 lbs. I fell in love with my body, her strength and inner beauty. 

I celebrated my 30th birthday with friends in the most beautiful locations in the Shenandoah. I bought a puppy. A rambunctious little dog, named Tucker, who continues to humble and confuse me. 

I lost a lot of “friends.” Some I thought would be in my life forever. Maybe even standing by my side in my wedding. Others I had spent a few years spending time around, but now no longer felt we were walking in the same direction.

I struggled with jealousy. And my ego. And my confidence. And finding contentment. I wrestled behind closed doors with these unruly emotions. Fighting to gain clarity. Fighting to find balance.

I celebrated the nuptials of my cousin, Nicole. We partied in OC. We showered her with love. We spent the entire year preparing for her special day. 

I learned how to deal with changes in the workplace. Both desired and undesired. Planned for and unplanned.

I made new friends. I strengthened other friendships. 

I paid off my credit card debt and began learning how to steward my money as a homeowner. 

But most importantly of all - - I found Christ, again. He became my rock. The center of my world. Worship music became my theme song. The Bible became the breath upon my lips. And in Christ I grew. Sharpening my faith. Strengthening my relationship with HIM. 

If there was ANY diamond moment of 2018... it was walking into the arms of Christ... and trusting that he will NEVER let me go.

God has been SO good to me this year. It’s been a miracle year. Many nights I cried myself to sleep... not understanding this new road I was walking down. Saddened that the door to the road that had been so familiar was closed. But now I see why that door closed. And I praise God everyday for it. 

This year pressured me to grow. To change. To develop into the DIAMOND God has called me to be. I persevered through the tests and trials, hallelujah! And I cannot wait to continuing shining my light in 2019!