*YOU*...

... are the only person in this world who knows how to live your life.

If someone tells you otherwise then they are struggling with living their own life and they’ve decided it’s easier to tell other people what to do. They are afraid of their own reality, but you can help by showing them how you live fearlessly and with conviction.

Goal: Embrace your life today exactly as it is, with all its flaws and perfections, its hopes and disappointments. Inspire other to live their lives more presently and more fully, by showing them the faith and confidence you have in the life YOU are living. Lead by example.

Radiating Positivity

My positive for Wednesday was my student intern. He is such a sweet heart and I am SO looking forward to working with him this year! His enthusiasm is contagious and his innocance is heart-warming. I am excited to teach him all that I know and to help him develop him as a future educator!

My positive for today was that our special education team is working together. We have been sharing resources, offering emotional support and going above and beyond in helping out with various tasks. I am excited to work with this incredible group of women and to learn/grow together.

Here's to continuing to be positive ... every day of this marvelous school year.

Shitty Year vrs Marvelous Year

I've been really sour after work the last two days. There's a lot going on that I am unhappy with, and it is so easy to get hung up on all the negativity.

Then I came across this...

I realized that this will be a shitty year if I continue to focus on the negative. So I am challenging myself to find something to be grateful every day. And I plan to blog about it on here. That - I hope - will make the difference between a shitty year and a marvelous year. 

So today I am grateful for sitting with the fifth grade team and getting to know some of the members a little better. I am also grateful for getting to know one of my sped teammates better.

Relationships are important to me and I am hoping to build positive ones this year.

Here's to a marvelous week! 

Summer has come to an end.

Summer has finally come to an end. And it flew by so fast.

Here's a photo recap .... since I cannot find the words to capture how great this summer has been!

These photos do not even begin to capture all of the fun, laughs and memories had this summer. All I can say is everything happens for a reason ... and I am forever grateful that I had the opportunity to take a summer off. Although I am sad to see summer go, I feel rejuvenated and ready to take on another year of teaching!

This summer break is one for the books!

2AM. Cannot sleep.

You ever get that gut feeling that you're set apart? That you  are on a different path. That no matter how much you want to be like your friends, and fit in ... You will not. Because you were born set apart. 

I've spent the first twenty six years of my life trying to be like everyone else. It's all I've ever wanted. To fit in. To be accepted. But time and time again, I have be unable to. 

I've walked unmarked trails ... Even when I did not want to. Because I have always been on a different path for whatever reason.

There's an old saying that goes, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"

And I don't know the right answer to that question. However I cannot seem to shake this unmistakable feeling that my road ahead will be a tad lonely.

Not because I will not have loved ones. But because my loved ones will not be able to love me in the way I need it. Because I will trail down the paths not wandered, while my loved ones travel down the beaten paths.

I feel like where God wants to take me, I must go alone. In order to fulfill his will ... My cross to carry may be heavier than my neighbors.

And for that I weep. It hurts. It's lonely. And no one really understands. 

My only hope is that one day I will learn to accept my fate and be okay with it. Because fighting it ... Is only adding to the struggle and pain. 

Summer Reflections

My fifth year of teaching slowly proved to be one of the most challenging years of my career.

I took on one too many responsibilities (i.e. mentoring two Towson University interns, serving as the special education team leader, being maid of honor for my best friend and serving as the campaign manager for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Man and Woman of the Year Campaign).

My natural job responsibilities added to my stressful load, including case managing thirteen students and co-teaching in three classrooms with three grade level curriculum's. I had new administration, who were often not very supportive or helpful. I had some nasty cases involving lawyers and angry parents. I was spread super thin and my enthusiasm and energy wained as the year went by.

By May, I fell apart. I absolutely cracked. I hit the burn-out stage that people rumor about. Burn-out is real folks. And I was the poster child for it. I was miserable at work. I would cry every day and all day. I began to go through the motions. My heart and soul was no longer in what I did professionally. I questioned if I should resign from the job ... quit. I deemed by mid May that I needed to walk away from kids for the summer months. I would be no good to myself, my summer students or my upcoming school year students if I did not take the time to regroup and relax.

So I stepped out on faith and let go of my summer gig - a camp I had worked at for the past five years. A camp that brought in a considerable amount of income during the summer months. I traded my 8:30 to 4:00pm summer job, for a twice a week [one hour] tutoring gig and many days without a set agenda. And let me tell you, this summer has been life changing. It is exactly what I needed and has made me realize that I will never work summers again if I do not have to.

It's not that I have done anything particularly life changing this summer. I have no vacations to speak about ... no fun plans to recall. But it's been SO great to rest, relax and recover. To make plans as I go. To spend some days in bed all morning, after sleeping in until 11AM. To spend some afternoons outdoors or catching up with old friends. To spend countless hours with Mike ... getting to know one another better ... making new memories together.

I can say as we prepare to enter August, that I am truly refreshed and relaxed. I find out what grade level I am teaching next year [although I pretty much know it's fifth grade] and I am beginning to feel excited about the prospect of what this year will bring! It was an amazing thing to step out on faith this summer ... to let go a little bit and let God ... and I cannot wait to see what this next year will bring. I've got a feeling it will be a year full of new beginnings, blessings and growth!

Good things. Good Progress. Take Time.

Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, neither are you where you used to be.
– Rick Warren

Most of our lives move at such an accelerated pace we don’t always have the time to stop and reflect on how fare we’ve come. We are usually too busy looking ahead. But it’s so important to keep checking in with yourself. We change all the time. It’s easy to get caught up feeling dissatisfied with where you are when you don’t take the time to appreciate how far you’ve come. You don’t have to be exactly where you want to be, but the fact that you are on your way is remarkable. Good things and progress take time.