Seasons

I went to yet another spiritual adviser yesterday. I know. I know. It has gotten a little out of hand at this point. She did a tarot card reading for me.

Immediately, she commented that she saw two guys in my love life. One obviously is Mike. I assume the other is Toyin Fadiran (who seems to be relentless and pursuing my attention and/or conversation with me at this moment). She questioned how long ago I had broken up with one of them. I said last October. Then she then stated matter of factually, "The relationship ended how it was supposed to." She commented that she sees that Mike will reenter my life again in the future, but the relationship needed to end because we were unable to communicate the way that we needed to. She also shared that he will mature during this time and be okay/successful. She said when he reenters my life, he will most likely be a friend - nothing romantic. She also stated that he will express how he truly felt at that time.

Funny that I had been contemplating and questioning those vary things earlier in the day. As tears rolled down my cheek and I commented on how that makes me sad, she also said that it is possible that we can have a relationship again in the future. Time will tell if I want to let him back in. She also commented that this new guy has the potential to become a relationship. Which - side note - I do not want to entertain at this time. I truly feel that I need some time to myself before entering a new relationship.

Anyhow I thought the reading was interesting, and if I did not know any better, I would say God was speaking directly to me. So this morning I cried out for God to help me let go. Let go of what could be. What I wanted to be. What I dream of being. I need to fully release Michael. The season has ended. And like the saying goes, seasons change. I truly am grateful for the time I spent in his company. I will miss him - like I often miss the scent of fall in the air or the coolness of the autumn breeze. I will never forget that season of life, and I wish nothing but the best for him. I hope that he finds happiness and that life treats him well. It was an honor to have spent time in his company, even if that time was short.

I am not looking for a new relationship, other than one with myself. And I hope in due time I learn how to love ME again. How to live life to the fullest. And that I am able to accomplish all that I set out to do. The season of spring means new growth... and I suppose it is almost upon me.